“What? That Ewan would want you instead of me?” Katherine’s eyes raged with unshed tears. “You’re my sister. I cannot believe you would do this to me.”
“I never asked for his attentions. I don’t even know why it happened.”
Katherine swiped at her cheeks, her skin pale. “I know why. It’s because you’ve always been bolder than me. Stronger, with more courage.” She made a fist and clenched her hands together. “I’m not like you, Honora. He wants what I’ll never be.”
Her sister paced across the room, releasing her anger. “I blame myself for bringing you along when we were together. I should have known that he would prefer you, between the two of us.”
Honora didn’t know how to respond for Ewan hadn’t truly wanted her. He hadn’t suggested that she go with him to Erin, not even after they had almost become lovers. He’d chosen to walk away from both of them.
Her chest constricted, and she struggled not to think about what she would do next. If she did, she might lose her senses. Gripping her arms tightly, Honora admitted, “Ewan is leaving Ardennes at dawn.”
“Are you going with him?”
“No. I won’t see him again.”
For a long moment, Katherine stared at her. Then she said, “You’re a fool. If he wanted me, I would go.”
“He never asked me to join him.”
Accusations hung over the room, and though Honora wanted to make her sister feel better, she had her own troubles to worry about. Namely, where she would go next.
She sat down on the floor in front of her trunk. All of her belongings were already inside, along with her chain mail armor. Ewan had returned it to her after her fight with John.
Honora traced the iron bindings, the rough wood, trying to think of whom she could turn to for help. Then she opened the trunk and began setting aside the belongings she intended to pack.
“What are you doing?” Katherine asked, her expression sharpening.
Honora shook her head. “Father wants John to accompany me to Ceredys. But I can’t go back with him. Not after he threatened me.” She set aside a linen shift, staring down at the creamy fabric. “Perhaps I’ll go to Normandy. We have kin there.”
Katherine approached her and commanded, “You won’t go to Normandy. Go with Ewan to Ireland.”
“I can’t. Not after what I did to you—“
“This isn’t about me anymore. He told me he thinks of me like his sister.” Bitterness rose up within Katherine’s voice. “Do you know how I felt? The man I fell in love with doesn’t want me at all.” She drew her knees up to her chest, her sapphire gown falling in waves onto the coverlet. Angry tears spilled onto her cheeks. “If I can’t have him, at least I can be sure that he’s happy without me.”
Katherine dried her tears, her face pale and cold. “Go with him, Honora and don’t return. I’ve no wish to see you again.”
Dawnbrokeacrossthesky, and Honora rose from her pallet on the floor. She hadn’t slept at all last night but had stared at the door. Her skin was cold from not having a coverlet, and her body felt worn down and fragile.
Katherine had left late that night, spending several hours alone before she’d returned to their chamber. Honora hadn’t asked where her sister had gone but accepted that she’d wanted time to herself.
Quietly she rose, and picked up the small bundle of clothes she’d chosen to bring with her. The armor remained inside her trunk for she intended to leave it behind.
The morning light brushed the horizon with hints of rose and gold. She donned a cloak over her gown to guard against the chill. The choice she’d made was one that troubled her still, the burden weighing down upon her shoulders.
For she’d decided to ask Ewan for help.
It frightened her to reach out to him. She’d thought about it all night, questioning the wisdom. But he was the one man she trusted. He wouldn’t turn her away, not when she needed him.
She cast a look back at her sleeping sister. She’d never intended to hurt Katherine, but apologies could not change anything. Nonetheless, she murmured, “I am sorry.” The coverlet stirred, and she wondered if Katherine had heard her.
Honora cast one more look toward the sleeping figure. With lowered shoulders, she opened the door to leave. Just outside, she recognized two of John’s men-at-arms.
“Good morn, Lady Honora.” A soldier stepped forward to block her path.
Icy fear rippled through her. “What do you want?”
“We’ve come to escort you to Lord Ceredys’s chamber,” the taller soldier said. “You will be returning home, upon his orders.”
