“I’ve found the man I want,” she said, her throat so tight she wanted to weep. “But you won’t give us a chance.”
“No, I won’t.” His voice was a blade of anger. “I won’t force you to endure the life I’ve chosen.”
But why would he choose such a bleak existence? He didn’t have to live that way.
“If I’m with you, I don’t care.” Though she fought with her words, trying to change his mind, she could see the futility. And it hurt worse than she’d ever imagined.
A shaking anger began inside her. She was so very tired of being left behind, abandoned by the men she’d loved.
There was resignation upon Kieran’s face. “One day you’ll find a man who can make you happy. Then you’ll see—“
“Don’t try to convince me. You’ve made your choice.”
Kieranletherwalkaway. There was nothing more to be said. She wouldn’t understand his reasons.
Death had been his companion for so long, he didn’t want to be responsible for anyone anymore. It was best not to stay in one place, not to have a family again. They were better off without him.
Iseult needed to live among a tribe, for the sake of her son. It wasn’t fair, asking her to give up everything.Críost, he could sense her pain by the way she held herself. He loathed himself for making her feel this way.
She stood near the horse with her head bowed. He drew closer, reaching out to embrace her from behind. A moment later, he froze, letting his hands fall away. He’d hurt her enough.
“We’re going to find your son today,” he said. “I swear it.”
She nodded, but when she turned to him, there was no hope upon her face. Only disappointment. He told himself that it would be different when she found Aidan.
She would have her son, and after that, she would forget about him.
Chapter Eighteen
Iseultcouldhardlyconcentrateas they drew closer to the tiny plot of land in the distance. Hope brimmed up inside, though she tried to keep it at bay. She wanted to see Aidan again, so badly.
She shielded her eyes from the sun, staring hard for the sight of a small boy. He would be walking by now, running, even. His soft baby curves would have thinned into the face of a child.
As Kieran led the way, she recited a litany of prayers. When he slowed the pace at last, she spied a lone dwelling in the distance.
Iseult urged her mare faster, unable to wait even a few minutes more. The circular stone hut was large enough to provide a comfortable home, certainly not a poor family. Even rows of grain sprouted within furrows, surrounding the shelter.
Let him be here. God, please.
When at last she reached the dwelling, her hopes froze. Something felt wrong. She could not smell a hearth burning. And there should have been animals—-geese and pigs, cows and horses. Although wooden pens were built around the hut, they were empty.
Kieran drew his horse to a stop, his gaze frowning. He sensed it, too.
Iseult closed her eyes, the prayers dying upon her lips. Even as she hurried toward the dwelling, the voices of doubt taunted her.What did you think? That you would find him, after all this time?
The hut stood empty. Though peat ashes remained in the hearth, there were no pallets, no family belongings. If Aidan had ever lived in this house, he was gone now.
She spun around and saw Kieran standing in the doorway. “Where are they?”
He shook his head, disbelief marking his features. “I saw a family living here, only a sennight ago. Your mother’s servant brought them supplies.”
“Did you see Aidan?”
“I saw the family. A woman and man, along with their children.”
“That isn’t what I asked. Did you see my son? Black hair, blue eyes.” She blurted out the description, as though it would mean something to Kieran. But of course, it didn’t.
He reached out and took her hand in his. “I believe he was here. I’ve no doubt that Caitleen arranged for his fostering with this family.”
