Once, he could wield a blade fluidly, without any thought. Now, it took his complete concentration to make the weapon move where he wanted it to.
He’d stayed here too long. He should have left a sennight ago. Only by training with his brothers could he defeat Flynn Ó Banníon.
After setting his belongings next to the entrance, he opened the door to let in the crisp night air. The dim starlight filtered in through the entrance, and he inhaled the scent of night.
And then, the scent of healing herbs. He closed his eyes, shutting out the memory of Aileen. His body remembered the seductive touch of her body beneath him.
Damn her for her lies. Perhaps there were some men who could father children and leave them behind, but he could not turn his back on a child. It was an act of dishonour.
He didn’t know what to do about Rhiannon, save bring her to Laochre. At least then he could do something to atone for his neglect. He’d show her that he hadn’t abandoned her.
His gaze fell upon a pair of splints and a ragged bandage. He held his hands up to the light. His hands were as whole as Aileen could have made them. She had kept her word and healed him.
But he still could not forgive her for the secret she’d kept.
Chapter 16
At dawn, Aileen awakened to the faint sound of voices. She rose, her body weary from lack of sleep. She opened the door, squinting at the morning sunlight. She saw Seamus, along with her brother Cillian and her father. The chieftain seemed to have aged beyond his years. Haggard lines around his mouth revealed unspoken pain.
He knew about Whelon. She could see it in his eyes. Fear and sadness clenched her lungs at the memory of the boy’s death. Whelon had placed her hand in Connor’s, as if to bring them together. But now, that would never happen.
Aileen pulled herbrattightly around her shoulders, the grey shawl offering a slight shield from the morning chill. It was like facing her own execution, for she already knew what Seamus’s judgement would be. He was here to banish her, nothing else.
Her father Graeme moved forward, as if to intervene, but Cillian held him back. The door to the sick hut opened, and Connor leaned against the entrance.
He wore travelling clothes, his brother’s sword hanging at his side. He would leave today, as he’d promised. His eyes did not meet hers.
It hurt to see him, to know that he felt nothing towards her. Why had she thought it might turn out differently? And why hadn’t she let matters alone? Taking him into her arms last night had been the most wonderful pleasure she’d known in seven years. It had been an act of desperation, the need to embrace someone in a moment of terrible grief. But the lovemaking came at a terrible cost. She’d destroyed their friendship.
The chieftain’s face showed no mercy, and he walked forward until he stood before her. ‘You know why I am here, Aileen,’ he said.
‘I do.’ She would not cower or weep. She had made the bargain and now he would force her to leave. She raised her eyes to Seamus’s. ‘I am sorry for it. Would to God I could change Fate.’
‘The people will not trust you as their healer any longer. They believe you brought the pox upon them.’ Seamus’s gruff voice held the weight of loss.
‘They are wrong. I did what I could to help them.’
‘You cannot stay here. They believe demons have cursed you. If you remain, they’ll demand that I burn you for it.’
She drew herbratcloser around her shoulders, afraid he was right. Though most of the folk knew her, superstitions were high. They could easily believe that the demons of illness worked through her hands.
‘How long until I must leave?’ she asked.
‘Three days,’ Seamus said quietly. ‘Gather your belongings and leave Banslieve. Do not show yourself here again.’
‘What about my family?’ Her gaze passed to her brother and father.
‘They have my permission to visit you elsewhere.’
With the judgement passed, Seamus turned away. Graeme came forwards and took Aileen in his arms, comforting her. ‘I tried to change his mind,a iníon. But he is right. If you stay, some may try to hurt you.’
‘I know.’ Her voice was hardly above a whisper, but she managed to keep her emotions from snapping. ‘I will be fine.’
‘You can go and stay with your Aunt Noreen,’ Graeme said. ‘She lives just over the boundary.’
She managed a nod, clinging tightly to her father. Even as she grasped the understanding that she had to leave behind everything dear to her came the greater knowledge that Rhiannon was not safe here either. If they blamed her for the demons of illness, then they might also cast blame upon her child. She would have to take Rhiannon away from Banslieve.
Connor had ordered her to bring Rhiannon to Laochre to be fostered after Samhain. She had dismissed the idea at first, but now she considered it. There was nowhere safer for her daughter to stay than with one of the most powerful families in Ireland.
