Her mind blundered through the mess of the coming days. Why hadn’t she thought of it sooner? She dreaded having to explain her deed to Connor if he guessed. And surely he would, for Rhiannon had her father’s eyes and face.
Her fears coiled like a viper, striking at her heart. She could not avoid Rhiannon at theaenach, nor did she want to. Though it might bring her stolen moment into Connor’s awareness, there was naught she could do about it.
His cruel words from this morning came back to haunt her. Like Seamus, he blamed her for his loss. If he found out what had happened on the night of Bealtaine, he would be furious. Though she did not care if he lashed out at her, she had to protect Rhiannon.
As Rhiannon’s true father, he had rights under the law. He could demand that Rhiannon be sent to his family for fosterage until she reached the age of fourteen. After that, he could arrange her marriage to anyone. Rhiannon’s entire future would lie in his hands, and Aileen could do nothing about it. She refused to stand back and let him make decisions without her counsel.
If he found out, she doubted not that he would be furious. The question was, did she have the courage to tell him before he learned the truth himself?
It was growing late, and she said farewell to Bridget. She could not bring herself to say anything to Illona. As she journeyed home, the anxiety of seeing Connor deepened.
Though she tried to prepare herself, her stomach burned at the awkwardness of sharing a meal with him. Again, she wondered whether or not to tell him about Rhiannon.
Her face grew hot at the thought of admitting she’d switched places with Lianna. Would his face transform in disgust? Would he hate her for deceiving him?
She thought of the way he’d kissed her the other night, kindling feelings she’d thought were long gone. He was no longer the inexperienced boy whom she had loved, but had become a dangerous warrior. If she allowed him to make love with her, the old feelings of longing might return.
She should know better than to trust her heart to Connor MacEgan. Though he tempted her, he would leave soon. And when he left, she didn’t want her family life ripped asunder.
Aileen lingered on the journey home, the sun waning into dark purple clouds. In the sky the mist of an approaching rain swelled and evoked the bountiful scent of earth. When at last she reached her land, wisps of smoke rose from the chimney of her small hut.
Inside, Connor sat upon the floor, his long legs sprawled before him. His hair was damp, as though he’d come from swimming in the stream. A bead of moisture rolled down the side of his face, evoking the memory of the night she’d bathed him. She closed her eyes, willing the sensual image away.
In his hands, Connor held the pig’s bladder. He squeezed it, focusing all of his attention upon the exercise. His face tightened as he tried to bend his fingers. She should make a healing brew to ease his pain, perhaps with honey to sweeten the bitter taste.
But then, why should she make anything for him, when he had spoken so harshly to her this morn? He deserved nothing from her.
She thought suddenly of the new healer Illona, and it hurt to think of her replacement. No matter what the villagers believed, in her heart she would always remain a healer. And this, she decided, was why she would make the drink for Connor. Because it was the right thing to do, to take away another man’s suffering when she held the means.
Aileen removed herbratand set it aside. Connor stood when she drew near, in a silent gesture of respect. It did not make her feel better; instead, it heightened her anxiety about what she would say to him.
‘Dia dhúit,’ she greeted.
Connor returned the greeting and reached to take her hand. His left hand held hers in a light grip. He was trying to conceal the effort it took for such a small movement. Even still, her trained eyes noted the tension in the muscles of his forearm. Then she saw blisters upon his reddened palm. What had he done to himself?
‘I said words this morn that were unkind. I would ask your forgiveness for them.’
Regret lined his tone, but it was the slight caress of his thumb against her palm that dissolved her anger. His grey eyes offered an apology, and her focus turned to his mouth.
The shocking memory of his heated kiss slid under her skin. When he released her hand, she could still feel the warmth of his palm, and God help her, she wanted more.
‘Am I forgiven?’ He shot her a sensual smile that would send most maidens into a swoon. In response, Aileen straightened. By Danu, she had more sense than that.
‘I don’t know. I have not decided yet,’ she answered.
‘I thought that might happen. It is why I’ve brought you a gift.’ Connor crossed to the far end of the hut. He lifted a package wrapped in cloth and extended it toward her.
Aileen did not know what to say. Though his apology was sincere, behind the words lay the unspoken truth. He did question her skills, believing she had not the experience of Kyna. He could not see the presence of any motion at all as a miracle, only a loss.
Aileen forced herself to swallow her pride. There had to be peace between them before she could reveal her own secret. ‘You did not need to bring me a gift. I accept your apology.’
‘Open it.’
When she unfolded the linen, inside lay a length of dark green ribbon. Made of silk, it was the sort of gift a lover might give to a woman.
Such an irony, for they had been lovers, and he knew it not.
‘My thanks to you,’ she managed.
