With effort, he tamped down his emotions and kept Juliette’s hand in his. “I am sorry for what he did to you.”
She nodded. “It was terrible. But I endured, thanks to Charlotte.” She steeled herself and admitted, “I confided in her, knowing she would help me. She pretended that she was taking me away on a tour and that I would be her companion. But Lord Arnsbury knew the truth. They planned that Charlotte would claim you as her baby. Everyone was told that she stayed in Norway to give birth, being fearful she might lose the child.”
Her grip softened on his hand, and she said, “The labor was very difficult, and I nearly died. I was only eighteen when I gave birth to you, and you meant the world to me. I visited Charlotte often because I needed to see you. I needed to hold you in my arms and be a part of your life. It’s why I was named your godmother.”
She reached out to touch his face. “I wish I could have told you the truth sooner, but we decided it was the best way to protect your inheritance. Only a few people know the truth.”
“Your husband?” he questioned.
She nodded. “Yes, of course. I told Paul long ago, before we married. And I was fortunate that he did not go off and kill Lord Strathland, as he wanted to. But the earl died when you were only a year old, after he was shot.” Her green eyes turned pensive. “I was glad of his death, as terrible as that might sound.”
He didn’t find it terrible at all. “Perhaps it is a good thing I never knew him. Else I might have shot him myself.”
“I am thankful he was not part of your life. And believe me when I say you could have had no better father than Lord Arnsbury. He and Charlotte could not have showered you with more love. It broke my heart to give you to them, but at least it gave me a chance to see you often and to know that you were well cared for.”
Matthew handed her his handkerchief, and Juliette wiped her eyes. “As for Sarah, she may cause scandal if she speaks of it, but she cannot threaten your place as earl. Your father baptized you as his son. Furthermore, you were formally recognized in the House of Lords, and no one can take your title from you. Be assured of it.”
“Why did my father pay her anything at all?”
Juliette stood from her chair and said, “Her life was controlled by her brother, and she was struggling to survive. Lord Arnsbury promised to give her a small yearly sum in return for her silence.” She paused a moment and added, “Then, too, before you were born, she was infatuated with Lord Arnsbury. She was caught alone with him at a soiree, and though nothing happened, Lord Arnsbury refused to marry her to save her reputation. She was unable to show her face in society, and she was treated poorly. I think the earl felt sorry for her and the money was meant to atone for her shame.”
He thought of Lily and the seduction. They had been fortunate that she had not become pregnant on their first night together, before he’d left for India. Otherwise, she could have been in the same situation as Juliette with a newborn child and alone.
“And would you continue to pay her?” he asked.
“Either that, or try to arrange a marriage for her. Sarah has led a difficult life and has been a spinster all her days.”
Matthew could not imagine finding a husband for such a woman, but he finally said, “I will think upon it.”
He rose from his chair, studying Juliette. It felt as if his life had been turned upside-down and then right-side-up all over again. But he was glad to finally know the truth.
For that reason, he opened his arms and embraced his mother once again. Though he understood the reasons for secrecy, he was grateful for the truth.
Juliette cried when he hugged her, and whispered, “I love you, my son. And I pray that you will find the same happiness that I have known, in your own marriage.”
Chapter Sixteen
Two weeks later
“Are you feeling any better?” Lily stood at the doorway of her sister’s room, hesitant to enter. Rose was lying on her bed, propped up on pillows. For the past fortnight, her sister had remained in this room, struggling to keep down any food. Iain had been reluctant to return to Ireland alone, but she could not have endured the journey.
Rose gave a weak smile. “It’s been a grueling morning, I fear.” She grimaced and reached for a cup of water.
Lily stepped inside the door and asked, “Can I get you anything?”
“Another stomach?” Rose closed her eyes. “Or perhaps you could transform time so that it’s four months from now. They say it will get better, but I have my doubts.”
“I’m certain it will.” Though what did she know about it? She had never been pregnant before. A blush stole over her face as she thought of what she had done with Matthew in the library. Though her courses had not yet come, she felt no cause to worry. He had written several letters to her and said that his motherwas improving and he would try to return to her soon. They would marry, and all would be well again.
“You’re daydreaming,” her sister predicted.
“I’m missing Matthew.” It felt empty with him gone, and even though she tried to occupy her days helping the neighbors with their dogs and horses, the mantle of loneliness crept over her at night.
A knock sounded at the door, and her grandmother and her brother entered the room. “Good morning, Rose.” James held out a small beribboned box. “Your husband bade me give you this. He said it would help with your illness.”
He gave the offering to his sister, and when Rose opened it, she exclaimed, “Caramels! Oh, James, thank you.” She nibbled at one, and the confections seemed to improve her disposition. Her pallor grew rosier, and when he tried to reach for one, she swatted him, laughing. “These are mine. You cannot have any.”
He narrowed his eyes at her. “You wouldn’t have them at all, if it weren’t for me.”
