She knew James was right…but she also remembered how much she had once loved Matthew. And she didn’t know if that same lover was beneath the surface of the man who stood before her.
“I should return to the ballroom,” she said. But she couldn’t quite bring herself to move. Here, in the shadows, she wanted to pretend that Matthew was her husband, that they were stealing a quiet moment together.
“You could stay,” he murmured. “Just for a little while.”
Lily wanted that, so badly. She remained motionless and answered, “Sometimes I daydream of the way it used to be, before you left for India.”
“We were different then.” His mouth rested against her hair, and goose bumps rose over her body.
She was acutely aware of his touch, and though she tried to distance herself, she yearned for him. “We were. Do you remember it now?” Her voice came out as a broken whisper.
“I remember everything.” His hand trailed up her spine, and she felt the touch deep inside herself. “I remember your smile when I came to see you. And the way you threw yourself into my arms when we were alone.”
A faint note of nostalgia brushed over her. “I was impulsive then. And you tried to make me see reason.”
“Every time you kissed me, I lost all sense of reason. There was none, and I didn’t care.” His mouth lowered to her nape, and her body reacted instinctively to the touch of his mouth upon her skin.
She was torn between wanting to flee back into the ballroom…or turning to kiss him back. Instead, she remained frozen, his touch awakening her senses. “Matthew, what do you want from me?”
“A second chance.” He kissed the back of her neck, and his lips were like warm silk against her flesh. “I lost two years of my life, and memories of torture haunted me at night. I want to replace them with something better.”
Shivers erupted upon her skin, and she longed to pull him closer. But not here. “We could be seen at any moment,” she whispered. “Take me somewhere else.”
He took her hands and guided her deeper into the shadows, to a darkened corner by the stairs. She went with him, her heartbeat quickening. It was almost as if the old Matthew had returned to her once again.
But this time, she was no longer a girl with foolish dreams. She understood that his mind could not heal as swiftly as his body.
He didn’t speak at all, but his hands framed her face. Strong fingers traced the outline of her cheeks, and she felt herself softening beneath his touch. Her bare arms prickled with gooseflesh, and he raised her hand to his lips, kissing it.
“I am sorry,” he murmured. “For all that I have done.”
Lily touched his cheek and answered, “Forgiven.” She wanted Matthew now, just as she always had. No one else made her feel this way, and she wanted to believe that the jagged edges of his past could heal back into a whole man.
His arms moved around her waist, drawing her close. For a time, he didn’t move, and she understood that he was giving her the choice to refuse him. She could pull away now, and he would allow that.
Matthew cupped one cheek, tilting her mouth toward his. Then he kissed her gently, and the heat of his mouth conjured a craving she knew would never be satisfied. He claimed her kiss as his own, plundering her mouth until she could scarcely breathe. Hot blood rushed through her veins, and she clung to him for balance.
Just for a moment, she told her brain.I need this.
And God help her, she kissed him back. Her tongue mingled with his, and she lowered the boundaries of her conscience. Matthew shielded her from the outside world, pressing her back against the wall as he kissed her. She knew that they could be discovered at any moment, and the danger felt reckless. Between her legs, she grew wet, wanting so much more than this stolen moment.
Would it be so wrong to be forced into marriage with this man? She didn’t know. He had taken her innocence years ago, and she feared she lacked any willpower when it came to the fierce desire between them.
Her breasts ached, and she could scarcely gather her thoughts when he pulled back at last. There was only the sound of theirhushed breathing, and she knew that her mouth was swollen from the intensity of the kiss.
“You should return to your brother,” he warned. “Before he comes looking for you.”
She took a step backward. Then another, trying to gather her composure. In the end, she turned and fled back to the ballroom, not wanting to face her tangled thoughts and dreams.
Her cheeks were burning, and she fanned herself, seeking a sanctuary among the older women. She didn’t want to dance or endure the flirtations of men—not now. When she spied Lady Falsham, she crossed the ballroom and joined her.
“Lady Lily.” The viscountess smiled and motioned for her to join them. “I thought I saw you earlier.” Her face frowned and she added, “Was that Matthew in the hallway with you?”
Were her thoughts so easy to read? But she only nodded. “He preferred to remain away from everyone else.”
Lady Falsham’s face held concern. “I had hoped he was starting to get better.” She kept her voice low, but there was no hiding her worry.
“I believe he is improving, but he does not wish to be among everyone else just yet.” To change the subject, Lily added, “By the way, I wanted to thank you and your husband for the book you loaned me. I find medicine most fascinating.” She told the viscountess about the dog she had rescued. “And I do appreciate Dr. Fraser paying a call upon Sebastian.”
