“Matthew, you cannot do this to yourself.” Charlotte stiffened, her hands clenched together. “You are home again and safe. Please, just try to get well. I cannot bear to see you suffer.”
Suffering was all that he’d known for the past few months, and the idea of returning to a normal existence was impossible. For so long, he had been unable to control his life. But here, for the first time,hewas in command of when he slept, when he ate. And the very thought of any food at all turned his stomach.
A knock sounded at the door, and his mother called out for the maid to enter. The servant whispered softly to Charlotte, who thought a moment and then nodded. “Yes, bring her upstairs.”
“I will not see any visitors,” Matthew argued. But from the look in his mother’s eyes, he suspected she would not listen. She appeared like a war general, intent on getting her way.
“I cannot imaginewhyLady Lily would have any desire to see you in such a state,” Charlotte remarked. “However, she iseven more stubborn than I am. And perhaps a beautiful young woman may break through that thick head of yours.” She smiled at him.
“I’ve no wish to see her.” But as he spoke the words, something stirred within him at the mention of her name. Even after she had gone, he couldn’t stop thinking of her.
Lady Lily’s beauty had captivated him, but despite whatever past they had shared, he didn’t want her to pin hopes and dreams upon him.
“Youwillsee her, and furthermore, you will behave yourself. Brownson will accompany her, in case you forget your manners.” His mother returned to the door and offered a hesitant smile. “Lady Lily will help you.”
But there were some pieces of the past he didn’t want to remember. Idly, he touched the slash upon his cheek where the raw edges had come together.
Charlotte opened the bedroom door, revealing Lily’s presence. The young woman wore a blue day dress with long sleeves that made a vee at her waist. Her hair was bound up beneath a matching bonnet, and in her hazel eyes, he saw a woman prepared to do battle.
His mother spoke as if he weren’t even there. “Matthew is in a foul mood, I fear. But Brownson is here, if you have need of him. Would you rather I stayed with you?”
Lily shook her head and removed her bonnet, handing it to the footman. “I will be fine.”
Her expression held a challenge, as if she were daring him to throw her out again.
She nodded to his mother, and Charlotte pulled the door closed behind her, leaving them alone.
Lady Lily stood far away from him, and her expression held a blend of curiosity and sympathy. “Good morning,” she greeted him, braving a smile. “Are you feeling any better?”
“Not really.” He leaned back against the wall, as if he didn’t care if she stayed or left. “But I’m not dead today, so there’s that.”
“True enough.” Her expression softened, and she moved closer to him, leaning against the same wall. “Do you…remember anything at all?”
“A little,” he hedged. “It’s coming back in bits and pieces.” He didn’t bother to hide his stare, and she met his gaze with an appraising look of her own. A flare of heat descended through his veins, and he was startled at the sudden emotion.
“What do you remember?”
His mind taunted him with the vision of her lying naked upon his coverlet while he stroked her bare skin. Could that be true? God above, had he seduced this young woman and left her? The memories spilled through his brain like water droplets through his fingers. If nothing else, he needed to uncover the truth of what had happened before he’d left.
But he couldn’t exactly say,I remember you naked. He wasn’t trying to shock her.
Instead, he fumbled for another sentence and offered, “We met at your sister’s debut.”
Her face brightened, and she nodded. “We did. Many years ago.” Lily moved to stand by the window, and the sun illuminated her brown hair with hints of gold and red. Her skin was pale, but her lips were the color of a pink rose. “What else do you remember?”
His mind conjured up soft curves and the gentle flare of hips. He closed his eyes, trying to maintain some grasp of dignity. But it was as if his imagination mocked him, leaving him with inappropriate visions.
Lily approached the untouched breakfast tray of food and picked up a strawberry by the stem, idly twirling it. “Anything at all?”
Should he tell her the truth? It would likely drive her away. But then, perhaps that would be for the best. She should get on with her life instead of trying to mend the shattered pieces of his.
So be it. Matthew crooked a finger for her to lean in. When their faces were nearly touching, he murmured, “I remember seeing you upon a bed, wearing nothing but a sheet. I pushed back the sheet and drew my hands over your body. I touched your bare skin and pulled your hips against mine.”
He rather expected her to slap him. Or at the very least, glare at him indignantly and leave the room in a fury. But she didn’t protest at all. Instead, her hazel eyes turned thoughtful.
“It wasn’t a dream, was it?” he said quietly. “We were lovers.”
To his surprise, she nodded. Color rose in her cheeks, but she confessed, “Yes. We were. On our wedding night, such as it was.”
