She supposed that was reasonable. When she had straw and wood shavings in a small nest, she used flint to start the fire. As she leaned down to blow the ember into flames, she sensed him watching her.
Her face flushed, and when she glanced back, she saw the flash of unmistakable desire. The hair stood up on the back of her neck, and a violent memory clashed inside her. Male hands holding her down, while another tore her clothing apart. Bile rose up in the back of her throat, and her pulse quickened.
It’s nothing, she told herself.Leif wants to marry you. He was not the one who hurt you that night—he saved you.
She closed her eyes and took slow, deep breaths to calm herself. But the fears did not diminish at all. Though she didn’t believe Leif would ever hurt her, there was no denying that she would have to submit to him. And his large body frightened her.
“Why did you come to me, Katarina?” Leif asked in a low voice.
Katarina jerked her attention back to him, and she straightened. “There was no reason. I was out walking, and I thought I would stop to see you.” She could not tell him the truth, that she had needed to clear her mind from thoughts of Arik Thorgrim.
His features softened, and Leif moved in closer. “I am glad of it.” He wrapped his arms around her, and she tried to relax. She knew he only meant to show her affection. And yet, when he leaned in to kiss her neck, she felt skittish. Katarina jerked to her feet, needing a distraction. Confusion was roiling through her mind, paired with guilt. “Shall I prepare you something to eat? You must be hungry.”
He paused a moment, his expression narrowed at her discomfort. “There is no reason for you to be afraid of me, Katarina.”
She took a breath and steadied herself. “I know. But…there are times when memories of that night return to me.”
Leif took a step closer. He reached out to stroke her hair, winding the thick strands around his wrist. His hand settled upon her nape, and he said quietly, “To overcome fear, you must face it.”
Did he mean now, at this moment? Her stomach clenched at the thought, and her hand moved to the blade at her waist, without thinking.
“When I am ready,” she acceded. “Not before.” She straightened her spine and regarded Leif, changing the subject. “What did you want to eat for your morning meal?”
He sent her a light smile. “I am glad to see that you have found your courage.” Pointing toward the corner of his dwelling, he added, “You may make oak cakes for me, if you wish.”
Katarina went to measure out the oats. The task calmed her, and she was glad he hadn’t pushed her. Leif knew what had happened that night, and one day, she would forget about the attack. It was over and done with.
She pounded the oats, adding rendered fat and water, preparing them in the same manner as Astrid had this morn. Though her cooking was not as good as the slave’s, it was edible.
“It pleases me to have you in my home,” Leif said quietly. “You will make a good wife, Katarina.”
She tried to manage a smile. “I hope so.” As she cooked the oat cakes, she turned to study the interior of his home.
“Leif, will we have enough supplies this winter? I do not see any grain or meat stored. At least, not much.” They would need far more than this to survive the winter. It was late summer, and she had already begun drying fruits and preserving whatever she could. Her brother had hunted deer and elk, and he brought back fresh fish every day. She’d salted and dried a goodly portion of their supplies, but Leif was lacking his own stores.
“I intend to trade for more,” he acknowledged. “Or I will sail to the warmer lands over the winter, and you need only provide for yourself until my return.”
Katarina frowned, for there was no assurance that hewouldreturn. She did not want to face the winter with hardly any food. “If you bring back meat, I can begin preserving it. There may be some fruit I can dry or perhaps later I could—”
Leif put up a hand. “Katarina, trust in me. I will bring back whatever is needed. Do you doubt that I can conquer our enemies and take what we need?”
“No.” But the reminder that he intended to plunder and seize from others was sobering. She turned her attention to the oat cakes, turning them over to cook on the other side. Leif’s gaze seemed to burn through her while she worked.
He came up behind her, his hands moving to her shoulders. The moment he did, she felt uneasiness sliding over her. He caressed her arms and drew his arms around her waist. “You need not worry about anything, Katarina,” he murmured, pulling her against him. His mouth descended to her throat, and she felt her body tremble from uneasiness.
There came upon her the sharp sense that it was wrong to wed this man for the sake of protection. He ought to have a woman who would care for him—not one whose heart had once belonged to another man. And especially not one who was frightened of joining with a man.
As he kissed her neck, her uncertainties gathered and rose higher. Though she did not push him away, she questioned her own motives. It felt as if she were using him.
Leif turned her around, and his mouth came down upon hers. The kiss was gentle, coaxing more from her in a physical reminder that she would soon belong to him. Was that what she truly wanted? Katarina softened her mouth but couldn’t quite bring herself to kiss him back.
He broke the kiss and stared at her. “What is troubling you?”
She could not possibly tell him the truth. Instead, she blurted out, “Arik Thorgrim has returned.”
There was a barely perceptible tension in him. “I thought he was dead.”
“So did I.” She didn’t pull away from his embrace, but he tightened his grip upon her shoulders. Most of their tribe knew that she’d once held feelings for Arik, and that he hadn’t returned them. Even Leif was aware of it, though he was new to their settlement.
But that was in the past. She had learned the necessity of letting go, and she had chosen Leif as her new protector. In time, she was certain she would learn to care for him.
He stroked back a lock of her hair. “Has he done anything to threaten you, Katarina?”
She straightened and met his gaze openly. “No, of course not. His return means nothing at all.”
But in spite of the words, she feared that Arik’s return would change everything.
