My arms have a mind of their own as they come up to hug him back. I have to stretch on tiptoe to reach around his shoulders, leaving me pressed up against him and thoroughly shocked. So much for keeping my distance. He buries his face in my neck, and for just a few seconds, I indulge in the comfort of having someone to hug, but I know the warmth and comfort are fleeting. I am very aware that I am going to have to back up and put distance between us.
It’s only after I realize he’s dragging in deep breaths of what I can only assume is me that I try to take a step back. He doesn’t let go, though.
“Um, we should…,” it comes out kind of muffled, so I try again, “we should maybe take a step back.”
“What?”
It works as he pulls back from me, finally, and I go even further by taking that step back I was talking about.
“I…I should finish up here and…,” it suddenly occurs to me that I don’t know what he wants me to do after I’m done with this tree.
“What’s wrong? Why are you…?”
I interrupt whatever he was going to say, “We shouldn’t…we shouldn’t make a habit out of doing things like that. We need to…”
He takes my face between his hands and brings his lips down on mine. This is definitely in the DON’T DO part of the employee manual for the Agency. I catch myself before I melt for him and just let him do whatever he wants to with me. Before I give in, I pull from him and take several steps back.
“We can’t do that. No kissing. I…we have to maintain the client/elf boundaries.” I basically mimic back what my boss said when I was called into his office and turn around quickly so he can’t tell how unhappy it makes me to put that space between us. “I can’t be around you like that, kissing and…”
I’m being spun back around to face him, his face completely changing. Now, instead of just looking tired and ready to be home, his eyes have taken on a cold glare that causes a shiver to rush through me. It’s like ice has suddenly formed on my jingle bells tied around my waist. The temperature in the room drops several degrees, and I am sure I could exhale right now, I would be able to see my breath.
“Why do you say you can’t be around me? What’s happened?”
“Nothing. Nothing has happened. I just…I can’t kiss you. Or let you kiss me. I have to maintain my distance from you.”
“Did someone say something? Did my sister…?”
“No! God, no! She’s…your sister is wonderful. She…didn’t say anything about you kissing me.”
“But someone did. Someone told you to put distance between us. Who? Who was it, Lumi?”
I bite my lip and try to square my shoulders in the hopes it makes me look more professional. “It’s just the way it has to be. The Agency isn’t an escort service.”
“Your boss.”
What? How did he…? My shoulders slump as I go back over my own words.
“What exactly did he say?”
Yeah, right. I’m not about to tell him my boss and supervisor all but accused me of being a…whore. Or how they kept driving the point home that sex in the elf uniform was cause for immediate termination.
“What did he say, Lumi?”
“I…they just reminded me that I might come off a little too friendly at times, and I should remember this is a business transaction. We’re not…friends or…”
“But we are friends, Lumi. We are friends and…they?” I lose track of where he is going with the conversation after he tells me we are friends.
He would be my only friend if that were true. I fight back tears as I try to take that in and process it.
“You said ‘they’. Who are ‘they’?” I think about not telling him, but he holds my face so gently in between his palms and bends so he can look at me eye to eye. “Tell me who they are, baby? Who’s been telling you not to be my friend?”
This has my eyes coming back to his. “I’m not…I’ll be your friend.”
Even if I do have horrible taste in that department, I still can’t tell him to keep his distance.
“Then tell me who was saying things that would keep us from being friends.” I still hesitate. “Friends don’t keep anything from one another.”
That’s not been my experience of friendship at all. The last time I had a friend, she kept a really big thing from me. And it destroyed my life.
