Her eyes twinkle with pride and gratitude, and she smiles so widely I almost worry her face will split in two. She glances back toward her favorite picture. It’s the only nice one of all of us: Laura and I are smiling widely at the camera, Jenny and Wayne are both young and half buried in the sand at the beach. I’m pretty sure we asked a passerby to take it for us.
We got Laura’s diagnosis two weeks later.
“Your girlfriend is in charge of dinner tonight,” Jenny says, turning to look at me. “We were going to go over some stuff together. It’d be helpful if you were there, too.”
I hesitate, but there’s no malice in her eyes. She doesn’t look upset at all. Actually, she looks excited.
“My girlfriend?” I ask, a small smile on my lips.
“Unless you two aren’t big on labels,” she says with a shrug.
My smile widens until my cheeks hurt, and I nod in agreement. I don’t bother to mention Mary’s uncertainty about what will happen after all this is said and done. Like Lauraalways told me, there’s no use borrowing grief from the future. Whatever happens will happen, and we’ll figure it out as it goes.
I’ve got some ideas on how to handle that all, anyway.
It feels good to get Jenny’s approval, even so casually. It’s more our style than elaborate apologies and explanations are anyway.
“Alright,” I say. “Yeah, I’ll join you two for dinner.”
“It’ll be ready at seven,” she says.
I turn toward the door, ready to get a start on the day now that I don’t feel so overwhelmingly exhausted and guilty. She reaches out for my hand, stopping me before I make it to the door.
“Thanks, Dad,” she says, squeezing my fingers before letting them go.
I take a deep breath, my smile coming easy and carefree.
“Anything for you, kiddo.”
I go through the rest of my day almost in a haze. It’s nearly noon by the time I make it out to the fields, and the boys are thrilled to see me. I feel bad for leaving them to fend for themselves, but they know I don’t take any time off unless I really have to. This morning was important, and it looks like things are only going uphill from here.
Tony and Bill make a good team, and they’ve been running the show all morning, so I let them keep at it. I jump in wherever someone can use an extra hand, focusing on keeping things moving along. It’s one of the most productive days we’ve had in a long time.
Al calls me about an hour before we wrap up for the day, letting me know that he’s back home and safe. The doctors didn’t clear him to come back to work, but I don’t care much about that. I’m just glad he’s walking and talking again. I’ll be there to help him through whatever’s left to come. I make a mental note to go see him this weekend. Maybe Jenny and I can fix him upsome cinnamon rolls. God knows the man has a sweet tooth to rival the Pillsbury Doughboy.
I head inside just before seven to rinse my face off and change into something a little cleaner.
The scent of garlic bread and sauce is already heavy in the air, and my stomach rumbles loudly by the time I make it to the kitchen. Jenny is sitting at the table, glass of wine in hand, and she smiles at me as I come in.
I round the counter and wrap an arm around Mary’s waist, kissing her softly when she looks up with a laugh.
It feels so right that I worry my chest might explode from how happy I am.
“Did you work up an appetite?” she asks teasingly.
She turns in my arms to kiss me again, and I can do nothing but smile.
“I could eat,” I say.
“Good,” Jenny says from the table. “We’ve got a lot to go over.”
She sounds stern, but not harsh. It’s the same tone she always uses when she’s focused on business, and it’s comforting in its familiarity. I’m still nervous about what it’ll mean to go through with all this, but I refuse to back out now.
It’s time to get out of my comfort zone.
It’s time to do this right.
“Hey,” Mary says, reaching up to rub her thumb over the crease in my brows in an attempt to smooth it away. “Stop worrying so much. Jenny and I will be right there with you.”
