I bite my lip. "What… recordings could he have found?"
Bay scrubs his chin, and then he speaks.
"The problem is the way I killed three of them. It wasn’t planned. They tried to push me off a cliff, but I have a kind of intuition when it comes to threats against my life or… yours. It was their car that ended up hanging over the edge, then I simply pushed it off. I lost my bumper, and on one of the recordings you can supposedly see my car, and the bumper is missing. Thatcould serve as evidence that I am responsible for his grandsons’ deaths."
"Not good, damn."
"What is problematic is the fact that Eugene became disillusioned with the justice system. For years he tried to reopen the case and failed, so now he may take matters into his own hands. That is one of the reasons I wanted to move in with you now, even though your therapy is not finished yet."
Oh. So that’s the reason. I feel a tiny needle of disappointment that he moved in not only because he wanted to be with me but also to keep me safe. Yes, I know well his protective nature, I can’t separate Bay the lover from Bay the protector, that’s what I admired about him then and what I love still, and in a way it is sweet. And even a little sexy.
But I would also want him to come back to me just because… he missed me so fucking much. Or maybe it’s also the case? I should not be too greedy.
Bay shifts his gaze over my face and he says with a lower voice, "Even though it’s me whom Eugene may focus on, he certainly knows how our feud with his family began, and he may remember that you were also involved."
Our eyes meet for a second.
"You know, I can kill a person with a single touch if I want to, and for some time now I haven’t been afraid of being attacked anymore."
"I know that, but remember there are other ways to hurt someone, ways that don’t involve touching."
I lower my head over the table because he is right. "I know, I appreciate you coming here, though I also hope it’s not just… for my protection."
Bay’s face twitches slightly. "I could not wait to come here, Alex, make no mistake. I counted the days. It was just the last, tiny push that made me take the step."
For a moment we stare at each other.
"I do hope we can regain what we had, Alex. Even if it won’t be so immediate and easy, after all it’s asecond-chancerelationship, and they rarely are the same as the first-time ones."
I press my lips into a thin line.
"And I still can hope for the… first time feeling. Because for me it’s not a second chance, Bay. It’s still the first."
Bay opens his mouth, then closes it again, fixing his gaze on the sandwich. And I really don’t want to talk about this, so I push my plate aside and say,
"My doctoral defense is in less than three months, I have a lot of work and I need to get back to it, because during those… heat days I didn’t push anything forward." I exhale heavily.
"Of course, Alex, I also have a number of matters I need to handle," Bay says in an almost official tone, but then… he suddenly hesitates. Frowning a bit, he adds, "But don’t overwork yourself; you’re still in heat recovery. You deserve a day off. If I can help you with anything, let me know."
Our eyes meet, and I realize that his words aren’t empty courtesy at all. There’s a softness and a kind of care in his gaze that I remember from years ago.
It dazes me, since I had forgotten it could feel like that between two people.
Damn… how sweet, how pleasant.
I’ve grown completely unused to having someone beside me who genuinely cares, and the feeling is almost surprising, almost alien.
"Thank you," I say quietly, "I really don’t feel back to full strength yet, but my inner sense of duty is pushing me toward work."
"Give yourself this one day of rest, you’re entitled to it. Even legally. And you seemed so… upset in the forest."
Bam.
What did he just say?
In the forest? What forest is he talking about? If not the one where I fucked with the stalker.
My hands clasp tightly on the table in front of me.
