"Yes, he is convinced of it."
Now is the moment. I gather my strength, draw a deep breath in.
"He believes we are True Mates, Bay. But that we are kind of ‘on hold’ because of my epigenetic changes. He believes that once the therapy is finished, we can enter the Joining, and our Bond will repair the rest…" My lips are trembling. "The tissue compatibility tests came out really well. That’s why I continue the therapy even though it is exhausting and I feel awful afterward, but I cling to hope. And I trust Blue’s assessment."
My voice cracks. It's time for the next part of my announcement, the moment that will make both of us uncomfortable, but I have to do it.
"I came here today to tell you this: I want to be with you again," I say, giving my voice a nearly celebratory tone. "Whether we are True Mates or not. Whatever it turns out to be. I once promised myself I would not give up. Even if it takes me the rest of my life to convince you, I do not want anyone else but you."
As I say these words, the emotion inside me rises so strong my hands tremble, I clasp them tightly together, and Bay’s eyes are now fixed on my whitening knuckles.
I see him open his mouth as if he wants to say something, but a wave of fear shoots through me, what if he says no? What if he refuses, I cannot let that happen! So I rush out,
"You don’t have to answer me now. You don’t have to declare anything, you don’t even have to believe in the success of this therapy or the TM thing. You can keep living the way you lived before, but I want you to know that I am moving toward you. Yes, in small steps. Yes, it takes me a long time, but I will not give up, even if I have to spend my whole life on that damn test bed in the genetics department, I cannot give up." I close my eyes, silent tears flowing down my cheeks.
Bay’s face is peculiar, something deep is stirring in him, his forehead furrows, his heart speeds up.
But I continue, "There were days I did give up, shortly after we broke up, for a few years I walked around like in a dazed, dark dream. I do not want that anymore, I simply cannot forget what we had. I understand if you feel differently, especially since I may have given you reasons to doubt my feelings, but know that even if you push me away, I will come back. I will be your stalker."
I say the last word with great emphasis.
My eyes meet Bay’s, but I barely see him because mine are filled with so many tears and everything blurs slightly, I blink quickly to clear them, trying to catch his reaction, but all I see is Bay opening his mouth again like he wants to speak, when suddenly I hear some voices.
"Bay? Oh, what are you doing here?"
I turn around and see two men. The alpha looks very familiar, while the other one, a beta, is a complete stranger to me.
Bay’s face brightens a little. I immediately know he likes this person. I feel his energy well enough to read that in a second.
"Oh, hey. Alex, do you remember my cousin Veyron? He’s really grown since the last time you saw him, hasn’t he?"
Only now do I recognize the cheerful face of the alpha. I have to admit that, like all the Nolans, he inherited striking looks. He has a wild mess of copper hair and bright, light-copper eyes, and his smile is infectious.
"Vey, you already know Alex," Bay says briefly, while I shake his cousin’s hand.
"Oh! It’s so good to see you after all these years!" Vey blurts out, though his tone shifts slightly, turning uncertain.
Of course. Awkward. Everyone in the family knew we were incompatible. So what are we doing here together? The question has to cross his mind. Relationships like that are viewed negatively in the ABO society, which probably explains the awkward look on Veyron’s face.
"Sit with us," Bay invites, and inwardly I grit my teeth. This is an important conversation, and now someone is intruding. It’s not that I don’t like Vey, but he really could not have picked a worse moment.
"So what are you guys doing here?" Bay asks, as if trying to draw their attention away from us.
"We’re celebrating!" Vey’s tone is relaxed again. "You know I started that electronic billboard company a few months ago, but business was slow at first. Now I finally landed a big contract for a grocery chain’s campaign, so I came here with Xav to celebrate. Xav is my employee."
We exchange another round of handshakes.
"And you, Bay? What are you doing here?" Vey adds. "You remember you promised to come by my yacht so we could hang out. When do I see you?"
On a sudden impulse, I stand up.
I feel I have already said the most important part, spilled everything that had been sitting on my chest for years. I get up quickly and say to Bay,
"I have to go home now, Bay, I’ll let you guys catch up, I’ll say goodbye here…"
"But—" he starts.
I cut him off, saying quietly, "I hope we can stay in some kind of contact over the next few months. The situation probably won’t change during that time, but please just don’t forget my words," I add, and before he can stop me, I move away fast, leaving him with Veyron and Xav, who wave at me hesitantly.
