Professor Alvarez comes up to me then.
"All good, Alex, I spoke with the provost, and he agreed to your substitution for the course."
"Great then," I say, glancing meaningfully toward Bay, "I just don’t want to bother anyone."
"You’re not bothering anyone," he says, and why is his low voice so different from the voices of the other men in the room, even though he isn’t the only alpha here?
It’s so much deeper and has this pleasant vibration that literally turns me into jelly.
What does he want?
Did he lose it?
But I automatically follow him as he shows me the way to the door.
Outside his bandmates are waiting.
No one really notices me, I’m like a tiny shadow, and only when the whole group heads for the stairs does Malik glance at me. A shadow of surprise and recognition crosses his face.
"Alex? Alex Strada?"
"Yeeeah, hey, long time no see," I mumble in embarrassment and offer him my hand.
He shakes it in surprise and breaks into a wide smile.
"Guys, meet Alex! Bay’s first boyfriend from back in high school!"
Everyone turns toward me, which makes me practically sink into the floor at the speed of a diamond drill punching through the earth’s crust.
So many eyes on me, amused, curious, assessing me… Damn it, why did I agree to this? Me, in a crowd? A seclusive loner who obsessively avoids people?
I have to shake their hands, I have to greet them while smiling and responding to whatever small talk they throw my way as we walk together toward the faculty parking lot where the band’s van is waiting. The whole time Bay stays silent while Malik does most of the talking, even when we get into the van and I end up seated next to Malik and have to keep smiling and nodding and occasionally adding something when he starts going on about our high school days.
From time to time I pull my gaze away from Malik’s face and glance at Bay, and his eyes are invariably fixed on me even though he doesn’t speak, offering only the occasional brief comment about some event that happened back in high school.
Then we arrive at a large restaurant downtown, and it clearly must have had a reservation because our table sits on a spacious terrace set apart enough to feel private, and that’s when the topics start to shift as the other band members, Carl and Dante, begin talking about things that have nothing to do with me. They rant about upcoming events and their thoughts on some lighting tech, then about another artist who got treated badly by his manager, and somewhere in all that the topics stop involving me at all, so this becomes the first moment when I actually have a chance to talk to Bay alone.
The waiter takes our orders, and afterward Bay settles back comfortably in his seat and pulls out his vape.
Its scent hits me, and I know instantly it’s a calming agent. I had seen him smoke in more than one interview clip, and it always surprised me since not many singers are willing to risk their voice and have throat problems, but now I’m beginning to understand that this isn’t a regular cigarette.
Does he live on that stuff, smoking it for years? I always see him with it.
"How’s everything with you, Alex, how’s work at the college going?"
He asks it in this relaxed tone, stretching the syllables a little while taking a deep drag from the vape, its blue tip glinting between his fingers.
Our eyes meet, his visible through a faint haze of smoke.
His face stays exactly the same as it was in the college provost’s office, neutral, neither smiling nor particularly gloomy, a friendly and polite expression but stripped of anything truly expressive.
"How do you know I work at this college?" I lift my brows slightly, mostly to keep the conversation going.
"Dereck told me," he answers smoothly, no hesitation. "You know we play with him from time to time, especially during studio sessions."
"Oh, right, of course. Well, yes, I work at the college. And in about eight months I’ll have my doctoral defense."
"That’s excellent, Alex, congratulations. A really great achievement, but you were always very talented, so I’m not even surprised."
