"But I appreciate it anyway. I’m sorry for my tone, I’m just… even more lost now."
Silence returns again, unchanged and heavy.
Lake must sense how deep my displeasure is, because he adds in a quiet and gentle voice, "I am sorry I do not have more for you. But maybe this version will be clearer, more acceptable…" He draws in a breath. The tone he uses now is unusually careful. "Perhaps your souls were never True Mates nor Twin Souls. But Bay is a sorcerer, and he simply brought you back to life. And nothing more connects you."
A cold shiver runs through me. No, no, resistance, inner resistance arises!
I know, I just know, that Lake also does not believe this. He says it for me, for the sake of my bitterness and the skepticism he hears in my voice, because he does not want to leave me with nothing but disappointment. I am grateful, but it also makes me… deeply unhappy.
At last he lets out a soft sigh and says, "Maybe your gift emerged then as a reaction to the shock your soul went through? Or maybe you are a sorcerer like Bay and Snow? Snow can predict the future in certain circumstances, and he has these additional talents. There are very few like him in ABO communities. Who knows, after all, you two share those unusual amethyst eyes," Lake laughs with embarrassment. "Maybe you are someone like that too?"
His tone is now a bit more cheerful, as if he wants to lift my mood, give me at least something.
I press my fingers to my temples hard enough that it hurts, and even the massaging does not help anymore, I cannot keep listening to this.
"Thank you very much for everything you said, I appreciate the honesty. I am sorry if I sounded skeptical, it is just… it is a lot. Really a lot," I tell him, because I know he had good intentions, he wanted to help, not throw me into confusion, and yet that is exactly what has happened.
"I know, sweetheart, I am sorry you went through something like this… it must have been a shock."
I squeeze my eyes shut, unable to bear one more kind word that might fall from his lips. With a trembling voice, I say goodbye and try to end the call, but suddenly Lake says,
"Wait, Alex! There’s something I wanted to thank you for."
There’s a short pause as he takes a deep breath.
"For being there for Bay, and for supporting him when we, as parents, failed to see what was really going on. I can’t thank you enough for surrounding him with light during those dark days."
My eyes fill with tears in an instant.
"So you know."
"Yes. And I still can’t forgive myself for not being there for him, for being the reason those people even came."
"No, don’t think like that. You suffered too. We can’t always stop evil. But you both survived it, and that’s what matters most."
"Thank you, I appreciate your support. Thanks to it, Bay pushed through the horror. I’ll always be grateful. And the awareness that he had you helped me deal with it too."
"There’s no need to thank me. I loved him, and I still do. He closed that chapter and moved on."
Another short pause
"I have to go. Take care."
I end the call because the words get stuck in my throat. I choke down my emotions, force them deep into my system, fighting the overload until I finally manage to quiet them, at least a little.
For a few minutes I sit still on the floor, strangely numb.
Then, slowly, a hesitant sense of acceptance begins to rise, drop by drop, seeping into my veins as I replay everything that was said in my head. I analyze the entire conversation in my mind, sorting it all out, trying to make sense of it.
Could there be a grain of truth in what Lake said, after all?
Was I really born dead, gray, cold, bruised?
And did Bay bring me back to life?
An abomination.
That’s who I am.
