The next class is World History, and I end up sitting next to Alex again.
Once more, I make a massive effort not to look at him, not to glance at that small, cute face with those huge eyes. But no matter how hard I try, I keep feeling him next to me, his presence pulling my attention like a magnet. I don’t even know why no one else in the class seems to exist for me, only him, the tiny omega sitting by my side.
Fuck, I don’t know this kid! I have no idea who he is beyond the fact that he likes math. I shouldn’t get involved. I’ve got nothing to offer him, and whatever kind of friend I could be… it wouldn’t be much. I’d just drag him down. My energy is gone, and maybe it’ll never come back.
I’m desperately fighting the urge to talk to him, and I can tell he wants to ask me something too. He just doesn’t seem like the type to start easily, so the words never leave his lips. But that doesn’t stop him from sneaking glances at me, and every so often, our eyes meet.
One time, he even sends me a shy, sweet smile, and I blush.
Next comes Science, and we sit together again. But after that is Algebra. I’m in Algebra 1, while Alex is already taking Algebra 2, so our paths finally split.
The Algebra classroom is arranged differently. I take a seat in the back row. On both sides of me sit two omegas. Not my types, but they seem fine.
They both watch me for a while until one of them says, "Hey, I’m Kaen, and this is Zion."
"Bay," I reply.
They reach out their hands, and I shake them with a hint of hesitation.
"Cool hair," says the one with thick black curls, Zion. "You dye it?"
"Natural."
"Wow, I’ve never seen such a deep red color. Looks like… blood," he says, wiggling his eyebrows.
"Thanks. At least I’ll save money on dye," I mutter.
"True," Kaen says. "Mine’s a boring mouse-brown. I should get red highlights someday." Then he leans in slightly. "But you could totally pull off the goth look with a goregrind twist."
There’s an uncomfortable pause as Zion scratches his chin. "I saw your name on the choir list. I’m in it too, so I guess I’ll see you there?" He gives me a wink.
I give him a noncommittal smile. I can’t say I’m excited. He’s not Alex.
Then lunch comes around.
Zion and Kaen walk behind me, and it almost feels like we’re going together. When I step into the huge cafeteria filled with tables, my eyes instantly find the small shape of Alex already standing in line with his tray.
I quicken my pace to get closer. Three people are between us. He turns around, our eyes meet, and he smiles. I force myself to smile back, though every part of me fights it.
When he picks up his lunch, I notice he chooses a two-person table.
But Kaen and Zion are ahead of me and pick a table for three. Kaen grabs my hand and says, "Come on, sit with us."
He pulls me with such insistence that I can’t really resist. I drop into the chair next to them, reluctant and irritated, and Alex ends up sitting alone.
Our eyes meet, and I can tell he’s hurt. I feel it almost physically, like his disappointment cuts straight through my chest.
Kaen and Zion keep talking nonstop about things I couldn’t care less about: some teacher from their old school, a student who got expelled for fighting, and a group of brothers named Hanson who are apparently the local troublemakers.
I grit my teeth and sit through it. Gossip doesn’t interest me.
Alex finishes eating before we do and leaves.
After lunch, I’ve got two electives: choir and music theory.
I don’t see Alex again that day.
The choir class turns out to be tolerable and even helps me forget for a moment what’s clawing at the back of my mind, beyond the fact that Zion is here and, as we sing, he stands next to me and shoots me intense glances.
