Silence falls.
I freeze.
Only then does it fully hit me, what I’ve done. My post-orgasm glow fades fast.
I’m not the old Alex anymore. I’ve become some strange pervert, fucking strangers in parks… on all fours.
With three unconscious bodies just feet away, yep.
At any moment someone could walk down that path and see me, which would end my career as a future lecturer, but above all I start to understand that by making this choice I finally said goodbye to the era of Bay behind me for good.
It stabs me in the chest like I drove a knife into myself. I reach for my neck on instinct to check the chain I always wear, and terror breaks over me when I realize it’s not there.
Nervously, I fumble through the folds of my clothes, but I can’t feel its familiar shape, and panic kicks in as I start searching the grass, dragging my fingers through the blades.
Did the chain break with all that struggling? Fuck, that would be symbolic in the worst, cruelest way. Another sign that I’ve ended the era of my life when everything was filled only with Bay. The thought almost rips me apart, along with the realization that I lost that metal tab. It wedges itself into my mind like a spike, and the pain of it is unbearable.
"My chain!" I shout. "My chain broke, it fell somewhere in the grass."
The words tumble out in a frantic tone as I feel his cock slip out of me and I crawl through the grass with my bare ass exposed, desperately looking for my lost keepsake, combing through the blades with shaking fingers. Behind me there is amoment of silence, he must have taken off the condom and tucked it into his pocket, but I don’t stop searching.
Where is it? Where is it? A sob of terror breaks from my throat.
"I have to find it, I have to find it," I cry, throwing myself across the lawn from one patch of grass to another.
Tears start running down my face like streams, choking me. "It’s a keepsake, a really important keepsake, a chain with a silver tab, please help me, please," I wail.
To my immense shock the man leans down, kneels and starts searching the grass with me, and wow, that is unexpectedly decent of him.
Black despair floods me, I cannot lose this. My precious memento of Bay, of those moments when I still lived in faith, in hope for our future together, when I was lucky enough to be by his side.
That little tab represented all of that for me, above all his love and his sacrifice for me.
"I have to get it back," I almost scream as another sob tears out of my throat and I collapse onto my knees, pressing my hands to my face.
Tears keep pouring uncontrollably down my cheeks. "I have to get it back, it’s really important, it’s really important, it’s a gift from someone I loved so much but lost."
I realize that maybe my body fell, maybe it became whorish, but my heart still has only one love, Bay. I sob helplessly. Then I feel a light touch on my shoulder. I pull my hands from my eyes and look at him. I have no idea what his face looks like behind that mask, but the mask is turned toward me and his hand is lifted in my direction.
He is holding the chain with the tab.
"Oh my dear Fate. Thank you."
Hysterically whimpering, I grab the chain like it is my salvation, something that brings me back to life, and then I throw myself at him, wrapping my arms around him.
The crazy sobbing keeps pouring out of my lungs as I cry and choke against this powerful man who is probably a stranger to me but who just showed me understanding.
Before this, only Bay ever saved me, and now here is this man who pulled me back from something terrible and on top of that, showed heart by helping me search.
Eventually I let him go, feeling a little ridiculous as I fasten the chain around my neck with trembling hands.
"I’m sorry, it’s just a very precious thing for me, it represents something I lost, the worst moment and the best at the same time," I blurt, sniffling while tears still streak my cheeks.
Then suddenly, unexpectedly, the man lifts his hand and very gently brushes my cheek in a soft gesture that can only be interpreted as comfort, and I almost feel the warmth, the gentle sweet energy flowing toward me.
But I stare, dazed by the impossibility of such a soft gesture between strangers, and the words blurt out on their own, "Is this you, Bay?"
He rises to his feet and stands there in silence.
