I squeeze my eyes shut.
The nurse makes a harrumphing sound.
"I’ll see you later, Dad…"
"You’re such a good kid, Alex," my dad whispers, and these are the last words he ever says to me…
Unaware of what will follow, I’m heading out with Jared, to buy him some clothes. Even with everything that’s crashed downon me, I can’t let him go back to our granddad. He’s just a kid and the man is a bastard.
When we return to the hospital after finishing the shopping, the doctors tell me… that my dad passed away unexpectedly.
I stand in the hallway beside Jared, who looks up at me shyly and gently squeezes my arm.
"I’m sorry…." he whispers.
And the emptiness around me expands in circles, like it wants to hunt me down, crush me, swallow me into its vast open mouth. I sway, and the world goes dark as I fall, caught only by Jared’s thin arms.
???
I see Bay one more time at my dad’s funeral, and his parents and brothers come with him to pay their last respects. There are also many of my dad’s colleagues from work, because he was well liked and respected as a prosecutor.
They stand a little apart from me at first, giving me some space. His parents look rough, and I have no idea why. Their True Mate magic always kept them looking incredibly young, like twenty-five, and now they both look closer to thirty-five. Some people would still say it’s impressive considering they’re both over fifty, but the change is so drastic it feels like something horrible happened, something the magic of their Bond couldn’t fix.
His dad stands between Bay and his husband, pale, his eyes strangely distant and washed out, like something is slowly eating away at him. His fingers rest on Bay’s and his husband’s forearms, as if he needs their support just to stay upright, which is unsettling.
I get this horrible intuition, like… what if they know about Bay’s past now? But I don’t dare ask.
After the burial they come up one by one to offer their condolences. Bay’s dad’s movements are a little shaky, and he leans in to whisper in my ear that I shouldn’t hesitate to reach out to him in any situation. His voice is barely a rustle, weak and almost inaudible.
All his brothers, who I came to love over the years, offer their sincere condolences too. Bay is the only one who doesn’t hug me. He stands in front of me, and when our eyes meet, tears slide down my cheek and… down his too.
"Stay strong, Alex. Remember that you can always come to us if you need any kind of support. I’ll always be there for you," he whispers.
I don’t sense his scent at all, so I assume he’s on suppressants.
"Thank you, Bay. Luckily Jared is with me now," I manage to force out through my tight throat. "I’m taking care of him because he needs my help, he went through a rough time."
"If there’s anything I can do, don’t hesitate to contact me. Promise me, Alex, that you’ll let me know if you need anything, all right?"
I nod, avoiding his eyes because I don’t have the mental strength to look at what I’ve lost. It’s too much. My world has crumbled. I don’t have Bay, I don’t have my dad, after summer I’ll be starting a new life in college, but I feel no hope, no joy. Everything has withered and burned out. There’s no meaning left, life has lost its sweet vibrancy.
A few others are there too, more distant acquaintances, and all of them, along with my dad’s friends from work, offer their condolences and their help if I ever need it.
Barely any of it reaches me. I turn away and leave with Jared and Dereck, who also came. One life of mine has ended completely, and now another begins, something terrifying andunfamiliar, like vast dark oceans no one has explored, where hidden monsters and shallow traps wait beneath the surface.
Everything I see ahead of me is filled with loneliness and emptiness.
BAY
Blows land across my face, but I take them with something close to relief, feeling a sharp and almost welcome pleasure in the physical pain because it pulls me away from that other pain, the one that is so much worse.
This is already the second fight Ennio signed me up for, and I’m wearing a special mask so no one can recognize my face. The mask is made of a super thin, elastic, leather-like material that doesn’t protect me from pain in any way, doesn’t soften the hits, and only hides me from prying eyes by changing my appearance.
My opponent celebrates his triumph when I decide to treat his last punch as a knockout blow and let myself collapse onto the ring floor, even though I could keep going, even though I could beat him because he’s not really that strong, his technique lacking, but I’m keeping the promise I made to Ennio.
Yes, I stick to the plan.
Anyone who thinks underground fights take place in some tiny basement, dirty and dark with dried blood on the floor, would be shocked. No, it is a massive underground hall that gathers thousands of people.
