And my dad… he doesn’t love me. Not one bit. I’m not sure if he ever did.
My parents don’t love me.
A stab as piercing sharp as the tip of an arrow slices through my heart, sending jolts of pain through my chest. My breath gets stuck in my lungs and it’s impossible to breathe.
“Hope, are you okay?” Marie’s worried voice cuts through my panic.
“I’m…fine,” I wheeze out.
Suddenly the car becomes a cage to me. All I want to do is get out and be in the open.
“You don’t look fine at all. What’s happening?” Marie puts her hand on mine. I barely feel her touch.
I don’t know what’s happening.
I don’t why I’m reacting this way.
I don’t know how I can help myself.
The more I think the tighter my chest gets and my breaths fall short.
Marie moves over the console and wraps her arms around me, squeezing me against her until her warmth melts my frigid state.
I gasp and she rubs my back.
“Breathe, Hope. Breathe. Just breathe.”
I inhale a deep breath despite how hard it is.
“Great. You did it. Do it five more times. I’m counting.”
Opening my mouth, I take long breaths and exhale them out slowly. Marie counts and doesn’t speak a word which is something new. She is always talking.
If she spoke I don’t think I’d be able to concentrate with how distraught I feel right now.
When I’ve calmed down a little, she pulls back and looks me in the eyes.
“Focus on my eyes. What do you see?”
I stare into her eyes. “Hazel.”
“What hazel?”
I pause and study the color like I’ve never done before. All my other thoughts scatter one by one until all my attention narrows down on her eyes. Her beautiful eyes. I’ve never noticed before how insanely captivating they are. A sea of soft moss green with brown, the shade of autumn leaves, spreading out in waves around the black circle.
“Brown and green, but mostly brown.”
“Are there gold flecks? Sebastian says there are.”
I blink and look closer. “He is right. There are a few.”
She pulls back and heaves out a dramatic sigh. “You are okay. Finally.”
It takes me a moment to gather myself. My whole body is flushed due to the wave embarrassment that washes over me because of the fact that Marie saw me have a panic attack. All because of one sentence.
My parents don’t love me.
I shiver as that thought comes back, so I quickly shove it to the back of my mind and turn my head towards her. “Thank you,” I murmur.
