This is the first time he’s openly talking to me about them, and I’m understanding why he hates them. Still, I don’t know what to say.
My parents are present in my life and that hasn’t ended well.
“You once asked me what my parents are like? I wonder about that too. I know nothing about them. They are complete strangers to me.” He smiles bitterly. “And now I have to live with them and they are everywhere in the house.”
“You hate that too?”
“What”
“That they are everywhere?”
“I do. The other night I came in late because I was at the underground and Mom was waiting up for me. It was strange to see her in the living room. I’ve never had someone do that for me before. It was past midnight and she needed sleep. You should see her, she’s thin and weak. I don’t know why the fuck she thought it was a good idea to wait for me.”
Heath says he hates it, but the way his voice raises in worry tells me that maybe he cares about them. Even when it’s only a little bit.
“Every morning she wakes up early and prepares breakfast knowing Ionlydrink protein shake,” he grumbles. “She also follows me around which fucking annoys me.”
I bite my lower lip to not smile at that. “What about your Dad?”
He frowns. “He isn’t like my mother. He doesn’t hover over me, but I find him always watching me. He knows when I leave and come back. And I know he knows stuff about me.”
“You said they are planning to stay. It seems to me that they want to know you.”
He chuckles dryly. “It’s too fucking late.”
“Are you afraid that they are going to leave again?”
A muscle in his jaw ticks. His eyes go cold.
“There’s more to it, Hope. It’s not just that they left. It’s also that they didn’t visit, called, or checked up on me for years. They abandoned us and now suddenly they want to make up for it.” He hisses. “Broken things don’t get mended.”
My heart breaks for him. “I’m sorry.”
He deflates. “Me too for having such shitty parents.”
“You’re not alone. Mine are the same.”
His gaze softens. “I’m sorry.”
I nod. Shitty is an understatement for the damage my parents have done to me. I feel like I’m not the same person anymore. Something fundamentally has changed within me. I have no idea what pieces of me I’ve lost or if I’ll ever get those back.
Leaning his head back, he says in a quiet voice, “The thing that bothers me the most is, why do I care? I don’t like them at all. Ihatethem. It was good when they weren’t here and I didn’t have to see their faces or listen to their voices. I had nothing to remember them by, but now…fuck!”
He rubs his face and groans. “Now I don’t fucking know what to do.”
Frustration bubbles under the surface and he looks about ready to burst and explode everywhere.
This is the first time I’m seeing him this way. All these emotions that I didn’t get to witness and know about.
There is so much that I need to learn about Heath Travon. He’s like a puzzle that I need to collect all the pieces of so I can put them together and complete the picture. Only then I’ll truly know him.
Watching him going through such an array of emotions and a situation like this makes me to help him but nothing pops into my head.
Gosh. I’m the worst girlfriend ever.
I need to read more books and see how characters tackle this sort of issues.
Usually they hold each other or distract themselves with having sex?—
