Do I even affect him like he affects me?
“There are your eyes. They are as beautiful as you.”
“You have prettier eyes than me,” I retort, finally finding my voice back.
His lips twitch as if he disagrees.
I clear my throat. “I have to go.”
His mood changes immediately. His eyes turn dark and his face loses its gentleness.
“You don’t have to.”
My lips curve in a sarcastic smile. “I have to. I don’t have anywhere else to go.”
“That’s not fucking true.”
“It’s fine. I mean, it’s not that bad. He…hasn’t hurt me since Friday.”
“It doesn’t mean that he won’t hurt you again.”
I know that.“Thank you for today. It meant a lot to me.”
He was my safe place today and I hid in him, not wanting to face the world. I’ve never had that before. Somewhere else to go when things got hard at home. I read books for escapism, but this was different. It made me feel good in a way I have never before.
“Don’t go in that house,” Heath says, gruffly.
“I’ll be okay. Don’t worry about me.”
“I cannot do that.”
I give him a weak smile. “Don’t follow me, please.”
Something on my face makes him unlock the car.
I get out of the car and wave him before turning around and walking down my to my house.
I don’t have to look back to know that Heath is the same spot, keeping an eye on me.
___________________
The momentI shut the door behind me, I sense the eerie silence in the house. It puts me at calm because I know he isn’t home.
Most kids like it when their parents are home—I used to when it was just mom and I—but it’s the opposite for me. I like it when it’s empty because it means I don’t have to be afraid or careful.
Walking into the kitchen, I see everything clean and the place neat. No doubt that Mom was here in the morning and tidied up.
Instead of going into my room, I put my bag on the floor near the doorway, and enter the space.
I don’t know how long Dad will be out, but until he is, I want to relish in every second of his absence.
Opening the cabinets, I grab a pot and set it on stove after filling it with water. Taking out the pasta from the other cabinet I pour it in about half a packet and add oil and a little salt.
I know I’m being a fool for every second that I’m spending here and not in my room, but it’s been months since I’ve felt this light. I was alone in school and at home. No one to talk to or spend time with. It’s taken me a lot of time to finally accept the fact that I have people in life who care about me. There are still times when I doubt them and their intentions, but really, I’m just doubting myself because I can’t trust something this good to happen to me.
I have friends.
I think about this fact every day and each day the truth sinks a little deeper inside me, as if looking for a ground to land and plant itself.
