Dread grows in the pit of my stomach as I stand there and try to make sense of it all.
3
HOPE
The strangest thing happens.Nothing happens.
Dad drags me home after thanking officers, giving them smiles and sweet words, he goes to his bedroom and doesn’t come out.
I stand in the hallway for five minutes before telling that I need to escape before he changes his mind and comes for me.
Turning the lock on, I lean my back against the door of my bedroom and take a deep breath. It doesn’t calm my racing heart or quiet my loud head. It doesnothing.
I step away from the door, looking for my phone so I can talk to Sebastian, since I can’t talk to Heath but something on the floor catches my eye.
Blood.
The wood is marked with dry spots of blood that I know belongs to Heath.
I clench the material of my shirt as I try to contain my heart inside that starts beating wildly and uncontrollably.
Heath bled because of me.
The reminder is all I need to realize that if he stays by my side, only the worst will happen to him.
I can’t bear that.
He’s someone I care deeply about. And it’s not just because he’s the guy I like, but because he’s also my friend. He’s done so much for me and all I’ve done is give him worry and distress.
He said he doesn’t deserve me. He’s wrong.I’mthe one who doesn’t deserve him.
He’s too good to be caught in the middle of the mess my home life is.
With my heart in my throat, I near the blood stains and kneel on the floor.
The longer I stare at it, the more awful I feel.
My chest packs with air and it feels full. Yet I can barely feel any oxygen flowing through my blood and reaching my cells.
I can feel myself getting dizzy.
No! You can’t crumble now.
Get yourself together.
Standing up, I get my phone and search online on how to get rid of blood stains. The article says to use water and vinegar—both of which I need to get from downstairs.
As much as I don’t want to go, I can’t have the stains on the floor. They’ll haunt me.
For the sake of my sanity, I need to clean it up so I don’t overthink and drive myself crazy—which I know I will. Just by staring at them I’m spiraling.
I grab the stuff from the kitchen. It’s quiet in the house which is rare. The mere presence of Dad is loud enough to raise goosebumps on my arms. Seems like he left because I can’t sense him in the house.
I hurry back into my room.
As I sit on the floor to clean, my hands start trembling.
My world turned upside down a few hours ago.
