Kobe was only too happy to take me through his culinary experience of the Apothecary’s entrees.
The server arrived with our drinks, and we paused our perusal since the Mortician required its customary smoky unveiling. Kobe had ordered something tropical, and it came in a tall glass with a beachy vibe, including an umbrella and a fruit skewer. Before the woman departed, we ordered the steak frites.
When the waitress left, I eyed Kobe’s drink with a raised brow. “Everything here is an experience.”
He chuckled. “It is. This one is the Alchemy Aloha. It has both Captain Morgan’s white and spiced rum, Soho, banana liqueur…” Kobe squinted as though trying to recall. “Lime, pineapple juice, and a syrup of some kind. I can’t remember. It’s good. Try it. No coconut.”
He slid the glass toward me, and I used his straw to taste the concoction. The liquid hit the back of my throat, and I coughed, sputtered, and laughed as my eyes watered. “Wow. That’s… sweet and exceptionally strong.”
“And delicious.” Kobe angled the straw at his mouth and sucked, hollowing his cheeks before pulling back and licking his lips, leaving them glistening. “Yum.”
Momentarily distracted and struggling to align my thoughts, I almost missed Kobe’s question. “Does your daughter like going to the movies?”
Confused for half a beat, my mind and body fighting to get on the same page, I eventually nodded. “Um… Cosette loves the theater.”Like her mother, I didn’t say. “She can’t sit through a whole movie, but watching on the big screen helps. If there’s music and singing, she does better. Why?”
“I’m taking my little brother to the show this weekend, provided I don’t end up stuck at work.” He rolled his eyes in a way that shed a half dozen years. “There are some holidaykids’ movies playing for the Sunday matinee. It should be age-appropriate for a toddler. You’re welcome to join us if you want.”
“The movies? On Sunday?”
“Yeah. Émeric won’t mind. I know he’s older than Cosette, but it’ll be fun. They can gorge on popcorn, and we can take them to McDonald’s or something afterward.”
It seemed too soon to introduce Kobe to Cosette. We might have managed three dates, but nothing romantic had transpired. I wasn’t sure what was happening between us exactly, but I got the sense Kobe was treating me with kid gloves when it came to anything intimate. If I wanted more, it would be up to me to take the first step.
“Can I ask her before I give you an answer?”
“Absolutely. No pressure. It’s an open invitation.”
Sunday was our weekly trip to Gatineau and the cemetery. Those were my hang-ups, not hers. I was sure Cosette wouldn’t care or notice if we canceled, but I needed a moment to decide how I felt about skipping a visit.
We listened to the jazz musicians and sipped our drinks. Kobe’s leg remained nestled against mine, and I liked the pressure, the heat, and the implication that came with the contact. My hesitation over Sunday lessened.
A movie. A day out. A normal life. It seemed out of my grasp, but was it?
Angelique and the promises I’d made lingered in the back of my mind, but Kobe’s bright smile and solid presence kept her ghost at bay.
Kobe made me yearn for something I’d forgotten existed. After a while, I found myself watching him instead of the performance, wondering at a future I’d given up on and if it was too late for me. Before long, I caught myself dreaming of impossible things.
Kobe hummed to the tunes he didn’t know and quietly sang along to the ones he did. His knowledge of smooth jazz, half a century old, astounded me. He grooved to Duke Ellington, Thelonius Monk, and John Coltrane, closing his eyes and mouthing the words.
At one point, he moved his hand to my leg, resting it there with what seemed comfortable ease. Purpose. Confidence. He tapped his fingers on my inner thigh, matching the beat as the jazz duo played Billie Holiday and Miles Davis.
Kobe Haven had more layers than I believed possible. He was a spark of life in my dreary existence. One I didn’t deserve. A firefly. I wanted to capture him in the palm of my hand and make a wish.
Like Angelique used to do with every dandelion gone to seed, no matter that she’d long outgrown the childish custom.
Like Cosette had done all summer.
As abruptly as the peaceful bubble formed, it popped. A wash of guilt threatened to drown me. I didn’t deserve this. Him. What was I doing?
Kobe caught me staring, and the boyish smile I adored appeared. It creased his eyes and dimpled his cheeks. He squeezed my leg reassuringly before caressing a gentle path over my thigh.
“Is this okay?” he asked.
Enraptured by the flames dancing in his irises, I nodded, though I wasn’t okay. My entire world was off its axis, and I didn’t know up from down. Left from right. Inside from outside.
Right from wrong.
I wanted to kiss him. Desperately. The realization arrived so suddenly, it stole rational thought and reasoning. It was a yearning beyond need. Beyond desire. A hunger so deep and so voracious, I couldn’t ignore it, and at that moment, I knew withabsolute certainty that if I didn’t kiss Kobe Haven at that exact moment, I would die.
