“You can pick out jackshit from a thousand photos after seeing them only once—”
I have to run.
I messed it up and now I have to run.
Reuben immediately steps between us and my eyes widen.
His body is a wall that breaks the panic. It doesn’t extinguish it immediately, but it’s enough to stop it from rising anymore in my ears.
Even his shadow feels like a cool river sinking into my erratic heartbeat.
I shut my eyes tightly behind him. I have to hang my head to hide my face from the rest of the team. But I can at least use this to try to calm down.
“That's enough.” Reuben’s low voice is a balm on my heart. The sound sinks into my skin and finally it feels like I canfuckingbreathe—
“Reuben, the things he does are crazy,” Xavier doesn’t stop. “A giant lump of metal slammed into him and not only did henot diehestillbeat Olsen like that—”
“I said enough!” Reuben’s voice is like a gunshot rocketing through the room, and I can hear when Xavier steps back. Can hear him faltering in the way his breath hitches.
Reuben steps forward and when I open my eyes and raise my head it’s Xavier’s turn to step back. His face is pale.
“I don’t care if it’s drugs. Or meds. Or magic fucking mushrooms.” Reuben steps forward again and Xavier backs up again until his back is hitting one of the tables in the room.
“He’s given us our first solid lead in five years.” I’m sure Reuben’s expression must be terrifying because the hostility has completely deflated from Xavier, who is now completely pale.
“Back off.” Reuben’s voice is a low rumble in the room.
A warning.
It takes a visceral amount of effort not to reach for his sleeve. Not to take shelter behind him and soak in all that cooling energy that’s leaking into my body and bringing me down from my panic attack.
But I can’t look afraid. I can’t back down. I can’t cling to him. I have to somehow de-escalate this. But how? How can I possibly explain the things I can do?
Strangely enough, drugs may be the only way to explain it.
It’s not my greatest option, but—my fingers tighten into fists—
Christian hated drugs. Would he forgive me?
Somehow that feeling is there again. Like I’ve only made everything worse. That I’m ruining the memory of him.
No—my fingers unclench at my sides—I can’t use that. That’s going too far.
“I’m not on anything,” I confess softly before placing my hands into my pockets. “But I’m sorry you think so.”
There’s no evidence to say I am. And there’s no reason to explain it to him.
Denial is my best choice. Even if they think I’m… unnatural.
“If everyone thinks my theory is possible,” I look around the room, “then what does that mean from here?”
“I’ll have Aster dig this guy up,” Reuben answers for me, backing up until he’s by my side again, “but if he really has a backer, the digital trail can’t be trusted.”
I can see the light of an idea forming in his eyes.
“If so, we’ll have to take a closer look ourselves.”
The meeting ends with the team finalizing next steps. Now that we have a possible lead, we need to first make sure it’s not a wild goose chase.
