Tobias was right.
I'm fucking pining.
I groan as I fall back into bed. This won't fucking do. I roll over to grab my phone and within moments, I'm sending a text to a fix I haven't seen in weeks. It's Friday night anyway. A few wild nights are all I need and then I'll be back to normal.
It's because I'm starved. Yes, that makes sense.
Fix (Cameron):
I'm locking up. I’ll meet you. The usual place?
The beginning of an idea is playing out in my deprived brain and I feel a wave of anticipation as I reach into my closet and type my next words:
Me:
No, I'm on my way to you. Make sure no one's there by the time I arrive. Be ready.
I don't even wait for the reply as I toss the phone aside. As much as I would like to throw on the closest available thing, appearances still need to be kept. There isn't a single chance in hell I'll be caught looking casual with a fix.
It's a different type of business, that's why I'm stepping out of my room in blue slacks and a white-collared shirt, put together enough to care.
I pull my hair back messily with the hair tie I found lying around, but the moment I step into the hall and around the corner, I’m looking up to see Christian standing in his doorway, wearing a grey hoodie and sweats. He drags a white towel over damp hair, and my dick twitches again at the sight of the wet curls around his neck.
But the girl standing in front of his door reels in a different sensation. She has long braided hair and a small face, wearing a black maid outfit that falls to her ankles. It’s only after staring for a few seconds that I remember where I’ve seen her before. The kid from the grocery store all those weeks ago, whom Aster brought on. Her brother is supposedly working well in his team, but I haven’t seen the girl around since.
Evie—I think her name was.
“I was just about to try and find you.” Christian’s expression is different when he's let down his guard. Gentler. There’s less tension in his shoulders. His smile is softer too, barely noticeable, but this time, it actually matches the warm tones in his energy. It’s such a rare sight, it makes me pause in the middle of the hall.
“You've been feeding me for weeks,” he jokes. “At this rate, all the fruit trees will run out.”
“The family is rich enough that I'm not worried,” Evie responds with an easy smile and Christian huffs with a curl to his lips.
“Oh.” His eyes widen when he remembers something, “Wait here. I have something for you.” He disappears inside, leaving both Evie and I confused, until he returns with a long black box wrapped in a pink bow—a jewellery box if my eyes serve me right.
The jealousy is like venom in my veins.
“A friend of mine helped me pick this out.” His energy takes on a soft shyness, “An early Christmas gift. I got one for your brother too, but I don't see him as often.” He offers the girl a small black parcel and she looks positively awkward as she stammers.
“I—you didn't have to—I wasn’t hoping to receive anything—”
“That's exactly why I got it.” I dislike the amusement in his eyes. “It suits you. Take it.”
She accepts with a few mumbling protests but her energy is so sickeningly grateful andsweetthat I can feel my mood plummeting. When she scurries off Christian looks after her with a strange expression and for a single moment, there's a joy in his energy I hate, a warm innocent joy I've never seen before. Another rare sight.
I’m waiting for him to go back inside because I don't want to see him after that disgusting display. The envy inside me is writhing so much that I need a moment to control it before I end up fighting with a child. But before he can go inside, he spots me.
And all the joy in his energy blinks out of existence like a snuffed candle.
I'm watching all the guards go up in seconds, his face becomes impassive and his pretty energy becomes cautious andflighty—and it reminds me why I chose not to chase the man called Christian Adler.
Because Christian Adler doesn’t want me to get close to him.
Being close to me scares him. Every time I get close, I see it—the irrational streaks of fear in his energy—a fear I can’t understand. A fear that says if I get too close, he’ll run away.
And I’m not in the habit of scaring straight men.
My mood has sunk like a fucking stone, so much so that Ineedto go out now to release all my frustrations onto my fix.
