And Christian… Christian hasn’t come back.
What are you, baby?
Why is it that I don't feel the slightest bit betrayed, even now that I know you’re not who I thought you were?
I’m constantly thinking. Constantly turning our interactions over in my head.
And your energy never lied to me.
Your grief was real.
Your desire to make the Adler Squad great…
That wasreal. Your suffering wasreal, but it’s just so…
Wrong.
You've got it all wrong.
I don’t even know who you are… but all the amazing things you’ve done, they don't belong to a dead man.
They belong to you.
Even if the real Christian Adler hadn’t died that night, he would’ve died on board the Millenium Star. He wouldn’t have survived that fight with Olsen or identified the Harvester or survived that truck accidentor saved Kai—
He would’ve died again and again and again—
You’rethe one who did the impossible day in and day out,none of thatbelongs todead fuckingmen…
Are you even human?
Is it that… you don't have anyone to teach you?
I rest my head against the sandbag, groaning.
My heart feels cold.
I'm remembering the way he looked in the mirror when he thought no one was looking.
I'm remembering the way he talked about the Adler Squad, and my heart feels heavy.
You stuffed yourself into that small box. You broke yourself into such small pieces. You denied everything that would’ve made you happy… even if it was me.
All for Christian Adler.
All for the Adler Squad.
And I don’t know if it's because you worshipped him or because you loved him.
“Good evening.” A familiar voice by the door pulls me out of my thoughts, and I tilt my head to meet my mother's gaze.
“I was told my son is in here? His mother wants to make sure he's alive.”
“I think he's alive, but I can't say for sure.” I hang my head back to stare at the ceiling. “Feel free to check.”
“… It smells like he might be dead.”
“The verdict then.”
