They’ll move on while I continue to break.
Still stuck in the moment when Christian’s heart stopped in my hands.
I’m on the floor beside the bed, one arm on my knee, while my fingers grip my hair tightly. The world is blurring again. It’s blurring because the sixth hour is gone—bled into the seventh.
And Christian’s not here. He hasn’t woken up.
Ah.
I’ve lost my mind.
A sound breaks the room. A soft cry that mimics the silent shattering of my heart.
It feels like I’m dying.
It’s a cacophony of emotion I can’t control.
“Reuben—” Christian’s voice breaks through the room in a croak and my eyes widen even as my tears fall.
There’s a rustling behind me, and his arms wrap around my neck—they’re still cold, but his breath is warm. I can feel his pulse.
“Reuben. Don’t cry.” His soft voice… it’s real.
My face contorts even further.
Fuck.
I’m not crazy.
“I’ll…” he’s holding me tightly, “I’ll explain everything—”
I turn to bury my head in his stomach, wrapping my arms around his waist and crying out like a fucking child.
I think I'm cursing in Spanish. Or thankingBaachan’s spirits.
“I hate you.” My voice is scratchy and parched. It trembles in the air as I cry into him. “I fucking hate you—I'll kill you again—just give me a second.”
He wraps his arms around my head, burying his fingers in my hair to hug my head. And I'm realizing his broken arm has mended.
“I better not be fucking hallucinating,” I whisper.
“... You should really get that checked out.”
I'm glad you have time forfuckingjokes.
Just wait. I'll shoot you myself in a second.
When I’ve finally calmed down—when I feel some semblance of myself is finally returning to me and my tears have stopped—I take a shaky breath. His body is warm again. His pulse is stronger. And when I look up there’s colour to his cheeks. His eyes are shining brightly.
I’m clinging to him like a child.
You’ve really done the unthinkable to me.
It’s like I’m under a spell of yours and there’s no way I can ever break it.
“How is this possible?” I ask.
His lips purse. There’s a flicker in his energy—god, I’m so fucking glad to see it again—but it’s anxious. Sad.
