And again, absolutely darling.
I place a kiss at the base of his neck, pulling him into me further before brushing my fingers against his torso. It’s a simple action, but there’s so much anxiety beneath my skin, making my breath tremble.
He tenses beneath me, but he doesn’t pull away. Weeks ago, he would have… but this time he doesn’t. Even as my fingers stroke the scar there on his stomach.
I know he hasn’t moved past the Adler Squad. Maybe he never will, and I’d never expect him to forget. But if he can look in the mirror and not see something that hurts him—if instead, he can see something that he likes…
It’s a big first step.
I’m anxious.
And I realize, the deeper I fall into Christian, the more anxious he makes me. He’s let down his walls so much… but still, there’ssomething—somethingeating him out from the inside—something that’s taking a piece of him, every time he’s with me.
I know I make him happy—I do. I see it. But at the same time… ithurtshim.
I just don’t understand. It feels like—it feels like if I take my eyes off him, he’ll disappear.
And when he does, then I’ll have to be the monster that drags him back.
Even now, asking him to face his demons… I half-expect him to pull away. To stay silent or fall back asleep. To pretend he doesn’t hear me.
Torun.
But this time, he doesn’t do any of those things.
There are a few breaths of silence before he rests his hand over mine… and within moments, he’s flipping to a page in the book. One that surrenders another piece of my heart to him without my consent.
A splash of stars across the page.
I press my lips against his neck again. My feelings for him are so strong it’s almost painful, knowing what he’s chosen to give me. Knowing it’s just another step closer.
“You like stars?” My whisper is soft against his skin, and his voice is a mixture of something fragile. Something finally set free.
And a quiet surrender, raw and open.
“I love stars.”
Philip invites Evie to a book convention out of town.
By then, the New Year’s festivity has already died down, and the weeks are a blur that passes by too quickly, mostly because I have to jump between the team and additional jobs back home.
Usually, being away from the family for long periods isn’t a problem, but that rarely applies to the new year, when we’re busy ensuring our alliances are still intact. The new year always comes with higher expectations, greedier hands—all kinds of people who want a bigger piece of the pie that our family owns and deigns to share.
Some of them deserve higher shares for their loyalty.
Others deserve penalties for overstepping their boundaries.
So when Baal texts me to meet up at a café closer to home, it’s not a surprise; it’s an inconvenience at most that it clashes with Evie’s out-of-town convention. The real issue is Xavier. He’s becoming more and more agitated; it’s been keeping everyone on edge.
The Harvester should’ve made his move by now.
He’s stalling on the second victim and we don’t know why.
Which iswhyI need to be there—to make sure Xavier doesn’t lose his shitandto make sure Evie’s well-protected. For Christian’s sake.
There’s a tiredness in my bones from all the jumping around—from trying to be everyone’s support. Christian sees it in me, but I can’t afford to rest in a season like this, not if I want to keep the promises I’ve made to him. So it’s the easiest thing to pretend it’s not there—to keep pressing forward like I know I can. Like I always have.
That’s why I meet with Baal early, so I can join up with the team at the convention, hopefully by noon.
