I hate that I triggered it so carelessly when he was so content just a few seconds ago.
I abide by his request for now to lean over and close my teeth around the skin of his chest. I’ve resumed my mission to leave marks along his skin—bites, kisses and licks to snuff out the negative emotions that are now spreading like a fire across his energy—and I put all my effort into bringing his arousal back to thesurface again—into smothering those re-emerging thoughts.
“I’m really glad I met you, Christian.”
When I look up, his expression has fallen and I know I’ve said the wrong thing.
I know because now the self-loathing and guilt are spreading like a wildfire across his energy, and panic is injected directly into my blood.
Why why why—?
“Do you like me?” I ask quickly and the ominous fire of his emotions finally stutters.
He blinks at me dumbfoundedly. “What?”
I kiss the inner area of his knee but my heart is beating fast with worry. It claws at my insides like an unwanted ghost and I slide my recovered erection back into his ass in one swift movement, hoping it’ll heal us both, at least for these next few moments.
A cry leaves his lips, banishing those horrible colours, but it’s still too soon for me to feel relief. I don’t take my eyes away from his as I kiss his leg and nibble his ankles. “Do you like me?” I repeat.
He trembles beneath me with new tears coming to his eyes. He doesn’t answer, but I can see it already, his affection for me hovering around him like a flower.
I slide out to thrust into him once more and he releases another low wail.
“Fuck, Reuben,please,” his voice cracks and I almost feel guilty. “You’ll kill me.” He trembles.
It only feels that way I promise.
“Then tell me you like me.” I smirk against the skin of his ankle and I’m relieved when I see his exasperation. Reassured, only now that those colours have finally filtered out of his energy.
“Fuck! Can’t you see it?” Christian’s hands are tight around the hem of my shirt. Around either side of his cock.
“If you tell me, I’ll finish faster.” It’s not a complete lie.
I push his knee to the side so I can slide into him better and his head tilts back with each thrust.
“Fuck,” he cries, “I like you…I like you—!”
“Ngh—!” His words earn a thrust so deep I’ve buried myself inside him up to my balls.
“Good, baby.” My cock pulses, and the idea of stirring up the cum inside him makes me grind my hips against his, earning another cry. “Now beg me to hurry up.”
His eyes are closed tightly, gripping my shirt with both hands, and I’m proud of him for not pushing me away this time.
“Beg me to come inside you,” I whisper to him and his eyes barely open again to watch me. Exasperation and resignation have filtered onto his face, a rare display of his emotions in plain sight, now that I’ve completely unravelled him.
I want to etch every trace of it into my memories; I don’t dare to break his gaze as I slide in and out of him.
His hole is warm and tight around me and his head falls to one side—too weak to hold himself up yet again… yet the heat of his gaze never leaves mine, “Please… hurry. Come inside me.”
My breath hitches as I slam inside him. I’m repeating the motion over and over again, burying my erection deep inside him until I’m unsure where I end and he begins.
How is it possible to crave you this much?
You’ve completely ruined me.
I’m addicted to him, his gasps for air—
His tears—
