He took my side.
“I can hear the hum of your phones in your pockets,” I finally confess in a soft voice. “You have two. One of them died during the meeting.”
Reuben blinks at me, before pulling the phones out. Surely enough, one of them is dead.
“It didn’t vibrate,” I rub my neck, “they were both on silent. Still… I heard them. Electronics give off a sound when they’re on… even if it’s faint, like lights.” I nod towards the one above our heads.
“The meeting room too, I could smell the cleaning product in there. It was four days old... Even the scents on you,” my palms feel sweaty, “isn’t yours. It smells like someone else. Something sweet.”
“I took down the clock on the wall, because even without it, I can count the seconds. Of every day, of every hour, of everymoment. Like a ticking in my brain that won’t turn off.”
“I’m not on drugs,” I admit softly. “Or meds. Or anything.” I can feel the panic rising up in me again. “I just don’t want people treating me like—"
Reuben grabs my face, “Basta.” He commands sharply and my panic settles.“You’re making me want to kiss you.”I can’t understand what he’s saying but the shadows in his eyes are darker than before.
“Calm down.” His voice is soft but the heat in his eyes is loud, “How long has this been happening to you?”
I remain quiet.
“Since the Nash Operation?” He asks, but I can’t say he’s wrong. Most humans aren’t able to use the full extent of their senses... Because of what I am, I simply just don’t have the limits that they do.
“Does it get too much for you?” He changes the question.
“No.” I answer honestly, rubbing my neck. “I’m used to it. I just…panic. It’s not… normal.”
And that’s desperately what I’m trying to be.
“You’re thinking like a child.”
Reuben’s words are the last thing I expect. My eyes narrow.
“Hear me out.” He flicks my forehead. “If you’re able to do those things without any strange substances fucking with your head, then yes people are going to look at you like you're crazy.”
A scowl spreads onto my face—
“But it also makes you better than them.”
My pulse stutters.
“You’rebetter,” he reinforces with such certainty and with a smirk that my heart staggers. “You were better than Tobias and I on the Millenium Star—”
My eyes widen.
“You were better than Olsen. And you just proved you’re better than Xavier.”
“But,” my heart thumps and my throat feels dry, “I keep ruining my chances—”
“That’sin your head, Christian. All in your head. You’re carrying these ghosts of yours around and being way too hard on yourself because of it.” He grabs me by my shirt to pull me forward, “Yousurvived the Nash Operation. I can see the moments—when you have that look on your face like maybe you shouldn’t have, but you’rewrong.”
He releases me to knock on my chest, “No one cares about the legacy of a ghost. Their stories are dead but yours can be even better.”
His words are sinking so deeply beneath my skin that I have to look away.
I can’t confuse his words.He’s not speaking tome, he’s speaking to Christian Adler.
I still have a chance.
I’m not ruining anything.
