What she’s holding in her arms is solely an imitation I created to clear his name and kill Everett.
I can still feel the strands of that weasel’s hair on my fingers. Still feel the hatred. The warmth flowed through my bones like sunlight when I pulled the trigger and destroyed his knees. The satisfaction that writhed in my blood and threatened to break out of my skin when I stuffed the grenade in his mouth.
But all I can see now is Christian’s face.
The face I stole.
‘You’re a cute little thing, aren’t you?’Christian’s singsong voice bursts through my memories.A strange light twinkles in his eyes and I watch him hesitantly as he stoops to reach his fingers out to me.
Even though I’ve been following him for weeks, I’ve never shown myself until now. And it’s been so many days since I started wandering this world in an animal’s form, I thought I was content with just watching his adventures from afar. The adventures of him and the rest of his… Adler Squad.
‘You really saved my ass back there.’ His smile is gentle, and even in the dim light of the alleyway, his blue eyes are bright and unafraid… it pulls me forward, out of the shadows and into the light of the lamppost. If I hadn’t yowled to get his attention, the assailant sneaking up on him would’ve shot him when he was distracted. It was just in time that he was able to put down the intruder quickly with two bullets between the eyes.
Christian’s hand on my head suddenly expands the world. His smile, the twinkle in his eyes, they make the space brighter—they fill me with warmth I’m not used to.
A warmth made worse by the sound of his voice.
‘I owe you one.’
I’m pulled out of the memory so viciously the world is blurry. My eyes are stinging like crazy—maybe it’s a side effect from losing so much blood—until something wet rolls down my cheek.
Ah.
Human tears.
That’s new.
My chest hurts too. It hurts so much worse than before—grief and hatred andfrustration, painful and agonizing.
The world is too blurry for me to see Dahlia clearly, but even then, I can’t bear the look in her eyes. Itburnsme—the gratitude and relief inside them. Shetruly believes her friend, her comrade, has come home.
But Dahlia, the truth is, the person you’re looking for never came back. He never will.
My vision blurs. How is water leaking from my eyes when I’m dehydrated? That doesn’t even make sense.
“Does it always hurt?” My voice still sounds foreign to my ears and I both hate and love that it’sChristian’svoice, “When you lose ‘home’?”
I can’t make out Dahlia’s expression, but I can feel her sorrow in her voice as she takes a seat beside my bed, “Always.”
“… Does it ever stop?”
She squeezes my hand, before reaching out with the other to wipe the tears from my face, “It will one day… when you’ve found a new home.” She puts on a brave smile, but I know Dahlia lost her home when she lost her husband.
Her new home was the Adler Squad; she’d handpicked and trained them herself. She was their family, vicious but fiercely loyal.
This would be the second time she’s lost her home.
How many more would she have?
How many more would she lose?
I can’t understand why she would bother going through that cycle.
I look up at the ceiling. If I can’t do anything but lose it… “Then I don’t think I want a home,” I say softly.
“Sometimes home finds you instead,” she replies, “and you can’t stop it.”
‘What the fuck is that now?’Mitch’s voice pierces my memories again.‘You know Dahlia will kill us if we adopt a pet. She’ll throw him into the river.’
