She gapes. “Excuse me! Are you trying to say being married to Enzo is like being married toHe Who Shall Not Be Named?”
I choke on my drink. “Oh my god. No.” I cough, thumping my chest. “I meant our relationship hasn’t really changed. We’re just… us. Although he does love calling me his wife.”
Noemi sighs. “I need a wife.”
“What about the girl you went on a date with last week?”
“The blonde?”
“There was a blonde? No. The brunette you went for drinks with.”
“Ohhh. No. She didn’t give good head.”
I stare. Then we both burst into laughter.
“You’re a whore.”
She shrugs, raising her glass. “And proud.”
Her expression shifts, sharp now. “When are you going to tell me why you’re poisoning me with non-alcoholic wine?”
My lips part. “How did you—”
“I saw you try to hide the label. I’m not stupid. Spill.”
I purse my lips.
Her eyes widen. “Oh my god. You haven’t told Enzo, have you?”
I shake my head.
“Ahhhhhh!” Her scream rattles my skull with its pitch and volume.
“Shhh!” I hiss, trying to quiet her. “I’m going to. I just… need to figure out the best way.”
Noemi straightens, slipping into an exaggerated version ofmyaccent. “‘Hi, Husband. I am with child.’”
“What the fuck? Who even talks like that?”
She smirks. “I don’t know how straight people talk to each other.”
“No? But you do know how humans talk, right?”
She sticks out her tongue.
“I want it to be special,” I sigh.
“I can’t help you there. Kids are the worst. I’m sure you’ll think of something.”
“Thanks for your help.” I press my lips together to hide a laugh. “And for offering to babysit.”
She hurls a cushion at my head.
The pregnancy test has been haunting me for two weeks. I know I need to tell Enzo—and I desperately want to. It’s not that I think he’ll be angry. If anything, I think he’ll be ecstatic. I’ve just been trying to figure out the best way to do it.
I’ve almost blurted it out at least once a day since I found out.
But today is the day.
