Chapter 13: Ella
Please don’t let it be super awkward now, please don’t let it be super awkward now, please don’t let it be super awkward now.
This mantra had been running through my mind since I climbed into the truck. I was on my way over to Ben’s. Less than twenty-four hours had passed since I almost word vomited how gorgeous I thought he was all over his sitting room. Instead of continuing down that ruinous path, I’d taken a hard right around “Youknowwhat you look like” and turned it into a joke about how Ben was a giant of a man. I couldn’t recall my exact words, but I thought they might have been vaguely insulting.
I must have blacked out from panic. Either that or my brain was trying to save me from the embarrassment of remembering whatever bullshit I made up to cover my near-slip.
It had been touch-and-go for a few minutes after. Ben looked like he wanted to press the issue for some reason, maybe to further embarrass me? Get me to blush again? But that would seem cruel of him, and he’d never shown the slightest inclination for cruelty. Or maybe he knew about the monster of a crush I’d been desperately trying to banish to a vault in the back of my mind.
Crap. That was it. He wanted to press the issue to get it out in the open.
His would probably be the kindest, gentlest rejection of all time. “Listen, Ella. You’re an incredible woman. I really like you. But not in that way…” Or something equally flattering before leading into a flat-out denial.
“Whyyy?” I muttered.
I rolled to a stop at the one light in town – of course it was red again – and leaned my forehead against the steering wheel. I should have just said it. Told him that he looked like something out of a wet dream. Then he could have gently put me down, I could get over this crush, and we could go on being friends without this stupid tension coming between us.
Maybe I could still say something. Work up my courage and slip my attraction to him into conversation somehow. I decided to practice. “Why, yes, this paint color turned out quite nice. Have you thought about putting the couch over here instead? I sometimes think about you naked, but I’m getting better at suppressing.”
Super casual. Definitely not at all creepy.
I needed to call Megan. She was smarter than me. Stacey could help too. With their combined IQs, they might be able to save me from myself. It would have to be tonight. They were both at work now. I’d just have to muddle through today as best I could.
The car behind me honked. I jerked my head up. The light had changed to green.
I waved an apology through the back window and put my foot on the gas pedal. In the rearview mirror, an elderly woman emphatically flipped me off. “Well, fuck you too, Mrs. Barnsdale,” I said, recognizing my eighth grade English teacher.
I spent the entire climb out of the valley in a suspended state of dread, terrified that I’d somehow ruined everything.
I didn’t go straight to Ben’s, but to Jack’s first. He was watching the dogs for me again. If Ben decided to keep Boots and Doodle, I’d bring Fred and Sam by and introduce them. I just didn’t want to do that prematurely if it didn’t work out. My dogs formed attachments much quicker than others. I blamed their sled dog origins and strong pack instinct.
“Thanks for watching the boys,” I told Jack a few minutes later.
“My pleasure,” he said, leaning down to rub Fred’s side. “Those two Samoyed puppies sure are cute. I stopped by Ben’s last night and got to spend some time with them. If that man doesn’t keep them, I call dibs.”
“I’ll let Jen know they’ll have a home either way.” Be cool, Ella. Just be cool. “How, uh, how was Ben doing?”
Jack gave me a funny look. “Probably the same as when you left an hour before?”
“Good, okay, yeah. Just checking.”
Jack’s lips lifted in an ominous grin. “What’d you do, Ella?”
“What? Nothing! I brought him puppies. I wanted to make sure he was okay with them afterward.”
“Yuh-huh,” he said, not in the market for the particular brand of bullshit I was selling.
“Okay, well, thanks again for watching the dogs. I’ll see you later.” I gave him a quick hug goodbye and raced to my truck, pursued by the sound of his laughter.
“Knew you two would hit it off!” he yelled before I could get my door shut.
I jammed the truck into reverse, checked to make sure I was clear of the doggos, and then took off out of there.
That interfering, match-making busybody. For months Jack had been nagging me about finding someone. Dropping wisdom-filled guilt bombs about life being too short to spend it alone. I should have realized he’d meant business. I should have known what he was doing the night he introduced me to Ben. He’d been trying to set us up.
I was so going to get him back for this.
Wait a second. Did Ben know that we’d been set up? He might soon, if Jack mentioned my awkwardness to him, or if he took to teasing him the same way he did me. I needed to get ahead of this and set Jack straight before he made the situation even worse with his good intentions.
