I turned back around and rummaged through a cupboard for some tea. “Yup. Jacob is a wow kind of guy. Dave, Jane’s husband, wrote a pretty amazing article about his work last year, and the whole community has come together to donate to the charity he volunteers for.”
“It’s great that he has so much support.”
I grimaced. “Don’t be too impressed. At least some of it is guilt money. Jacob was the first of us to go to school here, and he didn’t have an easy time of it. He was the only Black kid in his class and one of three in the whole school. The fact that he was adopted and our parents are well-off didn’t help.”
“But things are better now?” Ben asked.
I nodded. “It helps that he’s one of the few local doctors and these people might have to literally put their lives in his hands at some point. And I do think a lot of that initial shittiness was ignorance. It lends credence to those studies about why people in cities are more accepting of those who don’t look like themselves, or pray to the same god, or speak the same language. Exposure to different skin colors and cultures is key. Especially from a young age.”
“I’m sure technology has helped with that up here,” he said.
“It has to some degree,” I told him, grabbing two mugs off the shelf. “This part of Maine felt like we were a decade behind the rest of the country when I was growing up. We only had six TV channels until the late nineties. Now these kids have satellite TV and high-speed internet connections and social media. From a young age, they’re exposed to people who don’t look or sound like they do. It’s like everyone is now being raised in one giant virtual city.”
“Hopefully all this turmoil we’ve had lately is just the death rattle of the older, more intolerant generations.”
“Amen,” I said. Ireallyhoped he was right.
The tea kettle whistled. I turned the stove off and moved it to a potholder to cool down. “What kind of tea do you want? I have chamomile, peppermint, rooibos, and honeybush.”
“I’m here for some rooibos,” he said.
I plopped a bag of it in one mug, dropped a peppermint bag in the other, filled them with water, and reached across the island to set Ben’s in front of him.
Awoofcame from outside. I let my tea steep and went to let the dogs in. They didn’t have the frisbee with them. It might have been my imagination, but they looked a little forlorn about that, so I rubbed them down extra good and told them that I didn’t care that they couldn’t find it, they were still the best dogs in the whole world. They seemed to perk up some after that.
Ben’s back was to me when I re-emerged from the entryway a few minutes later. My gaze roved over him as I approached. Maybe if I drank in the sight of him when he wasn’t looking, I wouldn’t keep getting overwhelmed when he was.
Sam trotted past me and planted himself at Ben’s side. Ben reached down and scratched him behind the ears. Fred followed me into thekitchen, where I stopped to pick up my tea. I meant to join Ben on a bar stool, but Fred flopped down onto my feet, keeping me where I was. My toes were a little cold, so I leaned against the countertop and tucked them further under Fred’s side to warm them up.
I looked up at Ben. Our eyes met. It was easier this time than it had been a few minutes ago. Megan might be right, after all. I was thankful for that. Because Ireallyliked him. Aside from the fact that I found him wildly attractive, he was just my kind of person. He was kind, considerate, witty, and intelligent. Everything all of my closest friends had ever been. I didn’t want to screw this up by letting my stupid crush get in the way.
“How much did you get done on the house the past few days?” I asked. He’d been a ghost on his social media accounts, so I assumed he’d been working his ass off.
He broke eye contact and looked down at Sam. “Not as much as I wanted to.”
“Let me know if you need help. This is a slower time of year for me in the shop, mostly calendar orders, which I printed a ton of in advance.”
He glanced back up. “I might do that. Jack said you’re pretty good with a hammer.”
“I am. He’s taught me a lot. Well, him and YouTube. I did most of the work in here myself.”
He swiveled on his stool to take in the open layout. “I bet it's nice and toasty in here even when the power goes out.”
“It is. I bet it’s a bitch to keep your place warm when it does.”
He turned back, grinning. “I have a big ass generator.”
“Cheater.”
“I’m surprised you don’t have one.”
I shrugged. “No point. I can just toss the contents of the fridge into the snow to keep them cold, and the house is small enough that I have to carefully monitor the fire, or it’ll reach 80 in here and the dogs will melt.”
Look at me, having a normal conversation with Benjamin Kakoa and not lusting over him. Hooray for progress!
My newfound platonic mindset continued right through the rest of our small talk – which I dominated – until we finished our tea. Afterward, he headed to the bathroom to change into snow gear, subbing jeans for long johns, which I knew, because he was still tightening the belt of his snow pants when he paced back out, and his t-shirt was hitched high enough that I caught sight of the top of them. A narrow band of lower abs was also exposed. I fled from the sight to my bedroom, where I pulled my own snowsuit on.
“How did you know my shoe size?” Ben asked a few minutes later. We were out on the back deck, shoving our feet into cross-country ski boots.
