I took a deep, steadying breath. “You didn’t embarrass me. I embarrassed myself. I’m sorry I fell asleep. I didn’t plan to. And I’m sorry for, you know, the snoring. And the sleeping on you.” I cringed. “And the punching.”
My own night vision had adjusted enough that I saw him lean back against the railing. “I didn’t mind.” He looked down at me, white teeth flashing in the darkness. “Well, maybe I minded the punching a little.”
I didn’t respond. I was too busy having an epic internal battle. Did I cling to my shame, an emotion that was so rare for me that it almost felt alien? Or did I take this man at his word and believe that he wasn’t secretly annoyed that some strange woman had just couch-crashed in his super-secret bat cave?
“You want to stay for breakfast?” he asked. “It’s almost seven.”
Poof. All other thoughts disappeared. That hadn’t been my eyes adjusting; it was the sun rising.
“In the morning?” I asked, voice shrill.
He frowned. “Yeah. Are you okay?”
“I stayed out all night and didn’t tell my sister.”
“I’m sorry. I don’t like making you lie for me.”
I shook my head. “I’ve decided not to lie. Turns out, I’m no good at it. I’m just going to tell her I was at a friend’s and fell asleep. If she gets pushy, I’ll go the “Where I was last night is none of your goddamn business” route. She always hated when Mom and Dad tried to police her whereabouts, and turnaround is fair play.”
“Then I’m sorry I put you in this position,” Ben said.
“You didn’t. I did. I made the choice to come over here, and to respect your privacy.”
“If it ever gets to the point that it bothers you, let me know. We can stop hanging out.”
“Does that mean you want to keep hanging out?” I asked, struggling to keep the unadulterated hope out of my tone.
“If you do,” he said, grinning. “It’s nice having a new friend.”
My heart swelled like the grinch after giving all the presents back. That was it. Put a fork in me. I was done. I’d passed the point of no return with this crush.
“I do,” I told him.
I heard a scrambling sound and turned. The dogs raced onto the porch. Sam barreled straight toward us and wedged his body between me and Ben’s legs, trembling. You know it’s cold when Huskies shiver.
We cleaned them off and brought them back inside. They honed in on what remained of their rawhides while I went in search of my phone. I found it in the kitchen. The battery was almost dead. I unlocked the screen and saw a missed text from Megan around midnight that read:Hope you just fell asleep at a friend’s and aren’t bleeding out on the side of the road somewhere. Not waiting up for you any longer.
Guess she hadn’t been that worried after all.
Hey,I texted her.I did fall asleep at a friend’s. Just woke up. Sorry for not letting you know I’d be out all night. Be home in a bit.
She immediately texted back.Kind of nice to have the extended quiet last night. No offense. Glad you’re safe. Love you.
Love you too.
I set my phone down and looked up to see that Ben’s back was to me. His hair was wild from sleep. I had the strongest urge to reach out and tangle my fingers in it.
This was getting ridiculous.
I told myself, again, that he had come out here for peace and quiet, not to be the object of my lust. It helped clear the fog of hormones.The fog of sleep remained, and I was thrilled to see him pull a bag of coffee from an open cupboard and begin the motions of making a pot.
We stayed up late last night playing cards and talking. And talking. And talking some more. About everything. From benign topics like where it was safe to trail run once the snow melted to deeply serious discussions about race and politics like the one we’d had before starting cribbage.
We spoke like people who’d known each other for years and had moved past the fear of saying something that might lead to an argument or drive the other away. I’d never clicked with someone like this before, or so quickly, and I was starting to worry that this crush might quickly morph into somethingmoreif I wasn’t careful.
A sharp ringing jarred me from my thoughts: the sound of an incoming FaceTime call.
Ben scooped up his phone and answered it. “Hi, Mom.”
