“Yeah, I know. I’m sorry.”
“No, I—” I want to reach out, but I am unsure where my hand will land, where might be appropriate for this conversation. “Iunderstand. We will be careful. Is it likely you will come across anyone you know?”
Grant sits back in his seat again. “I don’t know.”
I frown at that. I made it clear as soon as I turned him that it would be impossible for Grant to return home. Of course, at that point, I assumed he would soon succumb to his bloodlust, making him dangerous to any humans he would encounter, and then he never did. By the time I worked up the courage to present him to the Huntsman, he had been away for months with no sign, and then the Huntsman also said that to send him back would be dangerous because while he might not have the ravenous hunger of a fledgling, he had powers he might not be able to control.
Grant never asked again. He spoke of his family and friends at first, but even that faded over time. I have always assumed he has been using the internet to keep track of the people he once knew.
“You do not have them on social media? You have not spoken to anyone at all?”
“No,” Grant says, tone mulish. “You told me not to.”
“I-I never—”
“I know. Igetit. I could’ve looked them up, I guess. I mean, I don’t think I’d be able to access all my old accounts, but I could use new ones… But I knew it’d be a bad idea.”
“Why?”
“If I saw things about them, I’d want to go see them.” Grant huffs. “We’re not exactly goingfar, Vlad. And what was I supposed to say, anyway? I spent months thinking about that, and by the time I realised, it had been like five years, and I didn’t know what to do.”
“You should have told me,” I say and wince at the accusatory tone in my voice. “I mean. I assumed you had made a decisionabout how you wished to handle everything. I did not know it troubled you.”
“Why wouldn’t it?”
I sigh. A sign flashes for our junction, and I pull into the correct lane.
“It is not… Jeremiah and Maurice and I are old.”
Grant scoffs. “I know.”
“When we were turned, things were different. I do not know the details of either of their situations, but it is my understanding that there were few people they wished to seek out once they had become vampires. Added to that, the fact that we all suffered our bloodlust for decades… By the time we had come out of the other side, I would wager that most everyone we had cared about had already gone.”
“Huh.” Grant ducks his head, peering up out of the windscreen as we pull off the motorway. “Makes sense.”
I drive some way in silence, and Grant only speaks again when I finally find a suitable place to pull over.
“What are you doing?”
I turn off the car engine and twist in my seat to face him. “I am sorry, Grant. I should have been a better sire to you. I should have seen you were suffering.”
He fidgets in his seat, gaze darting away from mine. “It’s not… That’s not your problem. I could’ve said something.”
“I should have known to ask.” I shake my head at his answering frown. “Regardless, we need to work together for this job. We must communicate. No matter what happens, we must tell each other everything.”
“Yeah, okay.”
“Grant, I mean it.”
“I know.” He blows out a harsh breath. “I’m sorry, too. I know you’re looking out for me because you feel like you have to, usually. I get it. It’s different here.”
A frown tugs at my mouth, but I am not prepared to get into an argument by the side of the road. It is different here only because Grant is far more involved than I would like. I will always look out for him. It is less a desire and more a driving need.
“It is different,” I agree. I turn the car on again and pull back onto the road. “But I willalwayskeep you safe.”
Grant smiles, faint but there, and turns the music up again.
We ride the rest of the way to Margate in silence. Once we reach the city, I have Grant pull up the directions to the hotel on his phone and direct us through the narrow streets. He does not appear to know the hotel itself, but from the way his gaze darts around and his sudden intakes of breath, things have changed far more than he anticipated.
