“What about—What are you asking?”
“Nothing’s going on between the two of you?”
I do not understand where the question is coming from and shake my head in silent confusion.
“Vlad.”
“I turned him. We… That is all it is.” He cannot understand the true depths of my feelings for Grant, not when I hardly comprehend them myself. And that does not matter. Grantneeds me for guidance, to keep him safe. He does not need everything else.
“You’re dodging the question. You know you are.”
“I am not.”
“Why did you ask us to clear him out before we brought her back?”
“It is not safe. If she saw him—”
“You felt his power just now, didn’t you?”
“Yes.”
“It’s more than what the rest of us have. More than Maurice, even.”
I swallow. “I am aware.”
“How long have you beenaware, Vlad? You’re protecting him from all of us. No vampire is that protective of their turn, not one who could stand alone like he could.”
“He cannot,” I growl, despite the fact that, in my heart of hearts, I know that is not true. Grant had a handle on his vampirism within months of me turning him. A year or two, maybe five…
He needs none of us now, and I am not certain he is aware of that fact.
“You’re so fucking obtuse when you want to be,” Jeremiah snaps, and before I can reply, he stomps upstairs and back into the living room.
I eye Merletta for a moment. Jeremiah’s blessing still surrounds her, keeping her unconscious, though it is beginning to ebb away. I shake my head and turn on my heel.
The wards will keep her here. They will keep us all safe.
ii
save you,he says, but I don’t believe him, not for a second. Not when every breath hurts, lungs on fire even as I feel liquid in them, that strange drag I experienced once, twice when I was too young to be out in the sea alone, when it was dark and the waves choppy and—
Listen. His hand is almost icy cold on my face.I will not lie. Not to you.
Weight. There’s weight in that, honesty, and I’m a fool to believe it, but I think I’m going to do it anyway. I open my mouth. He believes it, if nothing else, and the darkness is dragging at me, claws in, trying to pull me under.
Let me help you.
Why? I want to ask, but I can’t, can’t get a word out. My head rolls from side to side, and whenever I look at him, my vision is full of his dark eyes. The air smells like smoke and my blood. I blink and he’s moved, he’s even closer, filling every sense, but even that isn’t enough to keep me here, to stop the pain.
Let me…He moves something else. Metal screeches again. I make a noise too, the rough sound of it tearing from my throat,hurting, and he stops, settles back at my side.
Please. Desperation. He might die if I say no.Please, let me help.
What happened? I can’t think about what happened. I can’t move. I stay trapped in his gaze, trapped by the metal frame of the car, trapped here until I take my final breath.
He can’t help. He can’t. It won’t hurt anything worse if he does. I’m already done. Already gone. His thumb rubs along my jaw and it’s the only touch that doesn’t hurt, but my eyes water all the same.
Okay. I can’t say it, and it’s hard to nod, but his eyes are on mine and if there’s any good time to indulge in a fantasy, it has to be now. He understands me better than anyone else in this moment. What he’s sharing with me now is something that no one else ever will, that no one will ever comprehend. Something is alight between us, some bond tying us together more tightly than I would ever experience with anyone else.
