“Not a play,” Julian said.“A TV show.”He did that thing with his hands like he was seeing it on a marquee, which didn’t make any sense for a TV show, and said, “Mr.Murder.”
“OH MY GOD!”(Guess who?) “I LOVE IT!”
I know everyone thinks I exaggerate about Millie, but I pinky-promise: one of theclockseven sounded startled.
“That’s dope,” Keme said.
“Abouthim?”Fox asked.
Indira visibly perked up at this news, and she didn’t quite pull it off when she asked, “It won’t be bloody, will it?”
“It’s not going to be bloody at all,” I said, “because this is still very much a preliminary conversation.”I rounded on Fox.“Andyes, about me.Is that so hard to imagine?And Keme, don’t say dope.”
Keme made a rude gesture.
Fox sniffed and said, “Who are they getting to play you?Bob Saget?”
“It’s going to be great,” Bobby said with undue—and probably undeserved—loyalty.(Wait, are undue and undeserved the same thing?I’ll look it up later.)
“Frick yeah it’s going to be great!”Only Julian used the, uh, adult TV executive word.“And it’s not only a show.We’re going to have a podcast, books—true crime gets bigger and bigger every year.”
“I’ve never written true crime,” I said.
“It’s EASY!”Millie said.“Because it’s TRUE!”
“I’m loving this energy you guys have,” Julian said.“This is totally something we need to capture for the show.And let me guess, you’re Bobby.”Julian tried the handshake thing again, and Bobby didn’t let him down.“God, look at you.You ever thought about acting?Mr.Murder is going to need a boyfriend, and you would be perfect.”
Bobby didn’t dignify that with a response, but hedidlook pleased.
“He’s going to be gay?”Keme asked.
“Yes, obviously,” I said.“Actually, is it obvious?”
There was a communal look.
“That’s not what I meant,” I snapped.“I meant on TV—”
“A gay detective would be dope,” Keme said, and he made sure I heard him say it.
“Exactly,” Julian said.“See, this is the audience we’re trying to tap into—Gen Z, Gen Alpha.Theywantdiversity.And this would be so important for advancing the LGBTQ cause.”
“Well, yeah,” I said, but it sounded pretty lame.
“It sounds wonderful,” Indira said.“Do you know what it reminds me of?It reminds me ofMatron of Murder.”
“Oh my God,” Millie said—it was almost a moan.“I LOVED that show.That show was my childhood.”
“So, what’s the problem?”Fox asked.“Also, I want it in the contract that I insist on playing myself.”
For a moment, I had a horrifying vision of Fox living out the rest of their life as a Phantom-of-the-Opera style character on a studio lot, haunting the production ofMr.Murder.
“No problem,” Julian said.“I need to sit down with Dash and do the paperwork.Not tonight, obviously—I know you’ve been through a lot.”
Implied, though, was:Definitely tomorrow.
“Right,” I said.“It sounds awesome.And I’m excited.And it would be, uh, progressive—” The words got weaker and weaker until I mumbled, “But I need a little bit longer to think about it.”
Julian’s eyebrows shot up.“Yeah.Yeah, of course.Listen, take all the time you need.I mean, I wouldloveto get moving on this, and you know how time-sensitive the industry is, but I don’t ever want you to feel pressured.This is about you.This is about making sure you have the best experience possible.”
