I talked to my mother about it. She said what I knew she would—that it was too soon, that we were too young. I told Eric.
“You said you were going to think about it,” he said. “You didn’t say you had to decide by committee. You never stop to think about what you want.”
“That’s not true.”
“It is,” he said. “She just decides what you think for you.”
We got in a fight about it, one of our biggest, but I never wavered in the certainty that my mother—and I, by proximity—was right. Why would I make a choice this big without her? She knew what was right even when I didn’t—why wouldn’t I use that information, that help?
We shelved the baby discussion, another year went by, and then my mother got sick. Any questions of children were sent back where they came from.
I look at Nika now, seated next to me.
“Maybe Marco knows something you don’t,” I tell her. “If he believes that strongly, maybe he really does have some information he’s not sharing.”
Just then Adam appears in the lobby. He’s wet from thepool, and his chest is bare, revealing a very toned torso. A towel swings around his neck.
“Hello,” he says.
“We were just talking about you,” Nika says.
Adam raises his eyebrows and looks to me. “Really.”
“The hotel,” I say quickly. I can feel the heat creeping from my chest up my neck and into my face. “Your offer.”
“Ah.”
“I have to get back to the desk,” Nika says. “Thank you, for listening. I appreciate the ear.”
“Of course.”
Nika waves to Adam on the way out. And then it’s just the two of us. Last night might as well be playing on a movie screen in front of us. I know it’s the only thing either one of us is seeing.
“Hi,” he says. He’s still dripping wet, the beads of pool water dangling like earrings from the ends of his hair.
“Hi,” I say.
“Can I sit?”
I gesture to the empty space next to me. He does.
“How did you sleep?”
“Good,” I say. I swallow. “Not great, honestly.”
Adam smiles. “That doesn’t surprise me,” he says.
He holds my gaze, and I look away.
“I just mean,” he continues, “tequila and red wine and limoncello will do that to you.”
I nod. “Right.”
“Can I ask you something?” Adam says.
“Sure.”
“Last night,” he starts.
