“Paige!” I turn around to see my mom calling me from inside, motioning with her hand.
“Showtime,” I say.
Cassandra plants a kiss on my cheek. “You look terrible, by the way,” she says.
I look down at my dress. Blue taffeta that turns metallic when I move. “I think that’s how Joanna wants it.”
Cassandra rolls her eyes and sits down next to Jake, and I head back toward my mom. I want to tell her. About Joanna and that story and the cash. But then I look at her. She looks happy. Really happy. Happier than I have seen my mom in a long time.
My dad stands in front of Joanna. He whispers something into her ear, and then he takes her veil and places it over her face.
My brothers jostle each other behind them, and Aliyah unsurprisingly tries to flirt with them both.
I make a move to try to get upstairs and nab my phone—but I feel my mom’s hand firmly on my arm as I take the first stair.
“Where do you think you’re going?”
I spin around. “Um, hairbrush?” I try.
She looks at my head. “Down here,” she says. “We’re doing pictures now.”
We all file out front. Bill is standing in the driveway with his back to us, and Joanna goes up and taps him on the shoulder. The photographer is right there, snapping the moment Bill turns around and sweeps Joanna up into a big hug.
“First look,” my mother tells me, proudly.
“What?”
“That’s what it’s called when he doesn’t see her coming down the aisle for the first time. Better for pictures.”
Bill releases Joanna and then we all stand on the lawn, bright smiles. My mom and Joanna direct as the photographer keeps snapping.
My sister sold me out. Mysister. And she acted so casually about it.I needed the money.… What’s the problem?
The problem is that you should be able to trust your family. The problem is that when you splay your life out in front of the world, you don’t think your sister is going to be the first one to lunge for the carcass.
I’ve offered her money. I used to do it constantly, but not anymore, because she wouldn’t take it. She scoffed at me: “What am I, a charity case?” Those were her words.
The music starts and my father takes my sister’s hand. “Come on, sweetheart,” he says. “It’s time.”
We get in our processional line. Bill’s brother is walking me down the aisle. A pimply kid who looks about twelve. He starts coughing uncontrollably when I slip my arm through his.
We stand up there, all of us. My mom and dad and brothers as Joanna and Bill exchange vows. Joanna promises to make Bill peanut butter and jelly every day an hour before dinner, in case she screws their meal up. Bill promises to never complain about her collection of mini soaps and to always wake up early to start the car on mornings it’s cold out. They promise to love and honor each other forever. That’s what they say:forever.
My sister is only a few years older than I am, but she already has this permanent life. A child and a home and now a husband. I don’t know why, or how, but Bill agrees to spend the rest of his life with her. Until death do them part. Everyone cheers.
They walk back down the aisle to “Here Comes the Sun,” and then we all go inside the house for cocktails while they turn the backyard into the wedding reception area.
I grab a glass of champagne as I search for Cassandra and Jake. Joanna and Bill are in the center of the room, my mother close by them, air-kissing in every different direction. They are elated—even Annabelle is smiling from where she sits perched on my mother’s hip.
Then I see my father in the kitchen. I push past people and go over to him. He’s fixing himself a drink—scotch, two ice cubes—same as always.
“Hey, father of the bride,” I say to him.
He turns and smiles at me. He has tears in his eyes. I’ve never seen my dad cry, not ever. He’s reserved. When he wants to express love, it’s always “we.” “We love you.” Never I.
“Dad?”
“Allergies,” he tells me.
