“I made reservations at three different restaurants,” she says. Her tone is hopeful, bright. Her eyes look from me to Rainer to Jordan. “One even has a view of Mount Fuji. Supposed to be the best sashimi in the city.…”
“Sounds great,” Rainer says. “I definitely want to see what this city has to offer.”
“Thanks, Jess,” Jordan says. “But I’m gonna pass. I’m pretty beat.”
“Are you sure?” Jessica asks.
Rainer clears his throat. “I’m gonna go power nap,” he says, ignoring Jordan’s opt out. “Then we’re getting involved in this foreign land. I’ve been spending way too much time inside lately.” He slings an arm over Jessica. It feels intentional, like he’s punishing me. For a moment I’m struck by this gnawing jealousy, remembering that it used to be me there with him. “Meet you down here in an hour?” he says to her.
Jessica shimmies out from under him. “Sounds good.”
Rainer strides toward the elevators, and Jessica angles toward me. “You’re coming, right?”
I will myself not to look at Jordan. I keep my eyes trained on Jessica. “That trip killed me,” I say. “Tomorrow night?”
“Absolutely!” Jessica says brightly. “I have your copy of tomorrow’s schedule in the room,” she says. “Want to come up with me?”
I look back at Jordan, but he’s already crossing the lobby to the other set of elevators. “Sure.”
CHAPTER 12
An hour laterI find myself in the lobby of our hotel waiting for a new room key when Rainer comes down. They had to switch me to another floor, something about a broken radiator; I didn’t really understand.
He sees me and stops. We both just stand there, not sure what to do.
“Hey,” I say. “Where’s Jessica?”
Rainer shrugs. “Late.”
I nod. Okay.
I notice he’s wearing my favorite button-down—a purple-and-white-striped shirt that he bought to wear on one of our first proper dates in L.A. I wonder if he put it on with intention. If he remembers how I threaded my fingers through the space between the sleeve and his wrist and told him how handsome he looked. He does tonight, too.
“I’m sorry,” I say.
He looks at me, and I think he’s going to say something. Something mean or cruel or heartbreakingly true, but instead he says, “I just want you to know I’m aware you’re paying Jessica to hang out with me.”
I look up at him. I see just the slightest glint in his eye.
“What?”
“If there is one thing this whole experience has taught us, PG, it’s that you are the world’s worst liar.”
I fumble for words. The sound of my nickname on his lips like that feels like a balm. This is the most he’s spoken to me since we broke up. “I’m not,” I say. “Paying her, I mean.”
Rainer raises his eyebrows at me.
“Turns out some girls will hang out with you without receiving a dime.”
Rainer sweeps his lips to the side. “Some girls.”
Jessica comes into the lobby wearing a black dress, black ballet flats, and a jean jacket. Her hair is up in a ponytail, and you can clearly see the blue emerald drop earrings she has on. She looks stunning.
“You look great,” I tell her. “I have to borrow those earrings sometime.”
She blushes. “You sure you won’t come?”
I glance at Rainer. He’s putting some cash from his back pocket into his wallet. I know sooner or later we’re going to have to decide how to move forward.
