Her voice is low, throaty. When she speaks, it’s like she’s playing an instrument—I can feel the sound waves cut through me.
I clear my throat. I can see where this interaction is going, and I won’t let it. I’m not here to compete. “Britney,” I say, mustering all the genuineness I can. “It’s nice to finally meet you.”
“Right. Anybody want a sip?” she says, turning her attention to the group and shaking a little bedazzled flask. Her smile has turned to a smirk. I instantly feel like she’s patronizing me.
Her eyes take in Rainer standing next to me, and instinctively I snuggle closer to him. He looks down at me and smiles. If he’s feeling awkward, he’s not showing it. I know he’s seen Britney before tonight. I know he did while we were apart, too. Not romantically. At least, that’s what he said, and I believe him. Rainer wouldn’t lie to me.
“This thing is winding down. Let’s stay back here for Best Movie and then take off. I’m throwing an after-party at the Roosevelt,” Britney says, before looking back at me. “You’re welcome to come, too, Paige, of course.”
I barely register her dig at me before my thoughts all jumble together. What I want to do is go home and sleep. Be with Rainer. Have a little time to justbe.
“Wilder?” Britney asks. “You in?”
“Nah, I’m gonna take off, actually.”
Britney sticks out her bottom lip. “Boo.”
“Tend to the beautiful Alexis’s sickbed?” Rainer says.
Jordan laughs. “Something like that.”
I keep my eyes focused on Britney. I’m distinctly aware of her watching me. I have no idea what Jordan’s relationship is like with Britney now. Are they still close friends? Do they talk? Has he told her about Alexis? Has he told her about me?
“Bye, Brit,” Jordan says. He half waves at the group of us.
Rainer turns to me. “Roosevelt?” he asks.
“Rain,” Britney coos, before I can respond. “You promised.”
Rainer keeps looking at me. I reach down and take his hand. I make sure she sees. “Sure,” I say, my eyes on hers. “Whatever you want.”
An hour later Rainer and I are pulling up to the Roosevelt Hotel. I crouch down in the seat as we make a sharp left, avoiding the front, paparazzi-packed entrance, and swing down an alley. We get taken into the private, underground garage, and then we’re led by two big bodyguards through a secret door hidden inside a library bookcase and down a hallway of old Hollywood photographs into a huge vaudeville theater. Red-velvet benches, dim chandelier lighting, jumbo screens, and a stage in the center where women are dancing with monkeys. And to top it all off, waitresses are delivering bottles to people’s tables—by flying through the air.
“This is insane,” I say.
“It’s pretty crazy, huh?” Rainer says. “But kinda fun. It’s Britney’s favorite place.”
“How is she doing, by the way?”
Rainer shakes his head. “It’s worse for her,” he says. “She’s in the press constantly, and it’s all about Greg.”
“Have you guys talked about it?”
“A little,” he says. “She has a tendency to go off the rails a bit when things get rough.”
I think about Britney and her little flask of happy juice backstage at the Awards. The more unscrupulous tabloids have run a few stories about her drinking habit, her partying ways… but I just assumed they were exaggerations. Like Rainer and my movie-theater date or “promise” ring. But weren’t there seeds of truth in those stories, too? Maybe Britney is in trouble.
“She wants us to be friends,” Rainer says. I think about Britney’s eyes on me backstage. Friends. Right. That’sexactlywhat she wants from Rainer.
“What do you want?” I ask.
Rainer starts walking forward, dragging me by the hand. “To stop talking about this,” he says.
I spot Britney dancing in the VIP section, front and center. She’s moving her hips slowly, and leaning over the shoulder of Ryan, one of the hosts. His hand is pressed into the small of her back, and every once in a while his lips land on her neck. She’s got a drink in her hand.
Rainer lets go of me. I look at him and see that he’s watching her. “Hey,” I say, touching his shoulder. “Dance with me.”
I’m thinking about my birthday. How we collided together on the dance floor. How close I felt to him. I want us to get back there. It wasn’t that long ago.
