“I don’t want to be first,” I say. “I just want to bewithhim.”
Alexis smiles. “You should tell him that.”
“I have.” Haven’t I? I move my hands back and forth in front of us, clearing the air. “Ugh, enough.” And then I take a deep breath.Just ask, Paige. You can do it.“How is it going with Jordan?”
Alexis seems happy to turn the conversation toward herself. She throws her head back. “Amazing!”
Her enthusiasm stings.
“He’s a good guy,” I say, wondering if my expression will give me away. I don’t want a PAIGEGIVESGOODBITCHFACEheadline on Fansugar tomorrow. Especially because the whole point of this adventure is to work on my public image.
She laughs. “Good guy? He’s unbelievable. After everything he’s been through with his family, you know? He’s so strong. And of course—the chemistry between us is… well, you know… the same as it is with you and Rainer, I bet!”
I know. I know what it feels like to be seen by Jordan, to be at the center of his universe, if only for a moment. Raw. Consuming. Maybe that wasn’t me and Jordan. Maybe that’s just Jordan, with everyone.
I take an extra bite of salad.
“Anyway.” Alexis spears a chopped piece of asparagus. “I need an espresso.” She makes a move to flag down the waiter and slides out a platinum credit card before I can argue.
“I’d like us to be friends,” she says quite abruptly.
“I thought we were.”
She clears her throat. When she looks at me, I see her expression is thoughtful. “I’m not sure you like me.”
I open my mouth to respond, but she holds up her hand. “I’m totally okay with that. For now. I don’t mean to call you out. I know it’s weird, being thrust into this universe as suddenly as you have been. I just want you to knowIlike you. I think you’re genuine, which is hard to find in this town.”
I put my elbows on the table. I want to ask her if she is, but instead I just say, “Thanks, I think.”
“Can I just say something, then, as your soon-to-be friend?”
I look at her. Hair perfectly windblown. White jeans and crop top expertly draped over her tiny, toned frame. I want to hate her, but I can’t. “No good sentence ever started with ‘can I just say something.’”
She smiles. “I think you need to start having a little more fun. Come out of Rainer’s shadow. You’re living a dream, and you act sometimes like it’s a nightmare.”
I think about getting defensive, but what would be the point? “It’s that obvious?”
“You’ve seen the headlines.”
I nod. “I have a photo shoot for the cover ofVanity Fair,” I tell her. “And an interview withElle. Plus all the awards-show prep…” I never in a million years thought these sentences would come out of my mouth.
Her spirits seem to lift right along with her forehead. She downs the espresso the waiter gives her and signs the credit card receipt in the same swoop. “And?”
“Will you help me pick out some stuff to wear?”
A smile so big I think it might break lights up her face. “Oh, PG,” she says, “I thought you’d never ask.”
CHAPTER 5
I come homewith more than ten shopping bags. Kitson, Reiss, Nanette Lapore. Dresses, sky-high heels, and one leather bomber jacket Alexis insisted was “absolutely edible.”
I’m already envisioning trying the stuff on for Rainer. He likes fashion. I’m not sure he’d cop to it, but I know he has a personal shopper. Clothes show up at the house; he tries them on, keeps some, and sends the rest back.
“Rainer?”
No answer, but his car is in the driveway. He must be home.
“Rainer?”
