“There are plenty of women to fill your bed, why would you bother with her?”
“You know me well enough to know I do not do anything without a reason. I need her for something. Until then, I might as well have some fun.” His voice came out cold, callous, spiteful, a tone I’d never heard from him before.
I care because you are important to me.
The words twisted in my mind. My hands shifted to my heart as if trying to protect it from the eruption of pain.
He cares, he cares, I repeated in my head.
“Besides, plenty of attractive women do still fill my bed. You know as well as anyone, one woman would never satisfy my needs.” They both laughed darkly.
His words hit my chest like a punch. Sharp, cruel, and twisted, stealing the beat from my heart. Rodney responded, but I couldn’t hear him over the sudden roar in my head. I closed my eyes.
He told me he loved me.
The hard truth was, he’d told me once, just once, and like a fool I’d held onto it, hoping—no praying—that somewhere deep in his heart he did love me.
This was all some act. Some game he was playing because he needed me for something. It must be something to do with thegrimoire, but my mind was too ravaged with despair to consider what. I’d been naive to believe someone like him could love someone like me.
I’m not worth loving.Not by my biological parents, not by Tom, certainly not by him.
I loved him and he’d played me. I loved him with everything inside me. All this time, he was pretending he cared. My throat locked so tight I couldn’t breathe. My eyes opened, the world blurring beneath my tears. The beat of my heart returned, burning against my ribs, pain a wildfire spreading through my body as I edged away.
I scrubbed the tears from my face before I walked in, not willing to let anyone see how crushed I was. A shuddering breath of relief quivered from my lips when I saw the doors were still closed and the foyer was empty. I lifted my head as I walked through, resisting the urge to run, resisting the urge to scream, pain and despair burning through me. Laughter and chatter came from the room. They were in there, laughing about me.
The lights flickered above my head.
Ethan had warned me about him. Everyone had warned me, but I thought they were wrong. I thought he could be different for me. As if anyone had ever loved me enough to change who they were for me. As if anyone had ever loved me enough to stay. As if anyone had ever really loved me at all.
Aside from my mom. My dead fucking mom.
A sob racked my throat and my hand flew over my mouth, pinning my lips together. I ran up the stairs, mindless to the stab of my ankle with every step.
Don’t cry, don’t cry.
I snatched my shoulder bag out of the closet, shoved in my mother’s ring, and secured my blades. I didn’t pack anything else. I didn’t care about anything. I just needed to get away from him. I strode down the hall.
Georgie came out of her room. Her face flushed, her hair messy from sleep. She stopped when she spotted me, running her eyes over my bag, my outfit, then on my eyes, which were probably red. “What’s wrong?” Her words sounded slightly slurred.
I couldn’t tell her; she’d sayI told you so. She’d sayI warned you. I was such a fucking fool.
I dragged in a few deep breaths and forced a smile. “Nothing, I just miss the kids and Church Heights, and I’m fed up with being cooped up here.”
Her eyes widened. “Are you heading out?”
I didn’t know where I’d go. I had nowhere to go. With Ethan away, I hadno oneto go to.
“Yes.”
“Great, I’m coming too.” Relief flooded her face. “Let me grab my bag.” She turned and jogged into her room before I could tell her no. I rubbed my hands over my face. It was one thing to leave and put myself in danger, another to put her in danger too.
If I went now, maybe I could get away from her before she realized I’d gone. But Georgie came out seconds later wearing a jacket, her handbag over her shoulder, smoothing down her hair as she walked.
Fuck.
“I don’t think it’s safe for you, Georgie. I think you should stay here. I won’t be long,” I lied.
“Rubbish.” She hooked her arm through mine. The scent of champagne on her breath swarmed up my nose. “I know a girl who needs a drink when I see one, and I saw you kick Sarah’s ass, remember, and she’s not in Portland. It’ll be fiiiine.”
