The guilt slammed through my heart like a thousand knives. Suddenly, everything that had never made sense seemed to fall into place. He destroyed my life, stole Tom from me. He was the reason I drove and ended up in a remote town thousands of miles away from the people I loved.
“Of course you did,” Rodney said, his voice cold and calculated. “You couldn’t help but to compel her to be with you because the witches spelled you both.”
His words blurred under the pounding of blood in my skull. Under the wail of my shattered heart, I barely even registered what he said. All I could think was that Karson made Tom, the man I was supposed to marry, the man I was meant to spend the rest of my life with, betray me. The man I loved with all my heart,more than I had ever loved Tom, had hurt me in the worst ways possible.
A whimper fell from my lips as defeat flooded through me. My muscles sagged. I didn’t care whether I lived or died. I didn’t care what the fuck he saw. The betrayal was too painful. My walls collapsed.
I let Rodney in.
A few seconds was all he got. A few seconds was all it took.
My life played out like a manic slideshow.
The abuse I had suffered. The hand between my thighs. The belt lashing my skin. Nausea curdled in my stomach.
Then my mind flipped scenes.
A hand on my mouth, something bitter up my nose. Floating. Twisting shadows moving all around me, whispering ghostly voices in the night. The cold cement on my back. Flickering candles in the dark. I tried to get up, tried to fight, but my muscles wouldn’t move. I heard chanting. The cry from my lips as a blade sliced my wrist. A soft hand holding my arm. Blood trickling out. Something black poured on my wound and into my mouth. Blood.
Then it flipped scenes again.
The night whirled past our car. The streets were empty. The car was warm, heat blasting from the vents.
“I’m glad you called me. You can call me anytime you need picking up. As long as you’re safe, that’s all I care about.” My mother glanced across at me, her dark hair framed in a halo by passing streetlights.
I let out a breath, the scent of alcohol climbing up my nostrils. She hadn’t mentioned my drinking yet. Maybe she would save that for tomorrow. Or rather, today, when the sun rose in a few hours.
“I know, thank you.”
And I did know. My parents would do anything to keep me safe. I felt safe with them. That’s not something I thought I’d ever say. I felt safe. I felt loved. That’s not something I thought I’d ever say either.
My adoptive parents were detectives, so they were used to being pulled out of bed at all hours. Two teenage daughters ensured the tradition continued even when work gave them reprieve. Especially when one was Nerida, who was extra fond of parties.
My mother didn’t look like she’d just gotten up. She was dressed in slacks and a rollneck jumper, and her hair was neat. Maybe she hadn’t been to bed yet? That’s the other thing she was used to, sitting up, poring over files. Sitting up waiting for us to come home.
“Everything alright?” she asked. I could feel her eyes burning into the back of my head.
How do you tell your mother a boy wanted to kiss you but you didn’t want to be kissed? How do you tell her when you refused, he reached out and groped your breasts? Honestly, I didn’t know why he bothered. I’d seen pancakes with more filling. But to return the favor, I planted a knee between his legs. Now he had pancakes too.
I turned to look at her. “Fine, I’m just tired.”
Maybe we spoke some more, maybe we didn’t?—
The flare of light out of the dark, tires squealing. The sound of thunder as the pickup truck slammed into our car. The world whirled wildly as the car flipped over.
My head hurt. My ears rang. Darkness crowded the edge of my vision, but in the center swelled strips of light and syrupy red. Cold air brushed against my cheeks. The stench of gas burned my nose.
I sucked in a breath and turned my aching head to look at my mother.
I went to a theater once. It had giant red velvet curtains, and a fan blew across the stage, making the black ties swish in front of it. That’s what I could see now.
It took me another moment to realize that it was my mother’s hair swaying in front of her bloody face.
It took me another long moment to register we were hanging upside down.
“Mom,” I cried.
She moaned as her eyes blinked open.
