“It’s alright, you’re safe,” Karson’s gentle voice crooned as he brushed hair off my damp forehead. “You’re safe.”
Distraught, I stared straight ahead, my head spinning, my chest pressing in against itself.
The figures in the basement.
The memory of that horrid voice scorching my mind, the hand on my mouth, the smell of pine and smoke, the hand on my thigh?—
The faceless beasts. Moments jammed together like pieces of a jigsaw puzzle I couldn’t quite place. My teeth chattered; I tucked my knees to my chest, trying to keep warm.
My emotions whirled in a mixture of confusion, pain, and shame. So much shame. They all saw me break down, they all knew something had happened to me … I knew something had happened to me, something awful, something no child should ever go through.
Karson clutched my hand in his and sank to his knees. “I’m sorry, I’m so sorry for pushing you.”
I risked looking at him and wished I hadn’t. His eyes were riddled with guilt and despair and something worse—sympathy, adding to the distress. He dipped his head, clutching my hand to his lips. “Forgive me, please, Amelia, forgive me.”
To see the king of vampires on his knees, begging me for forgiveness should have warmed something inside. Should have soothed me. Instead, I felt embarrassed. I felt … ashamed.
I closed my eyes, trying to drown the whirlwind of feelings rushing through my body.
“I’m sorry,” he repeated, “I’m so sorry.”
This wasn’t his fault, but I couldn’t deal with any of this right now. I could barely process my own emotions, let alone deal with his.
“I can’t,” I rasped, opening my eyes. “I can’t do this.”
He flinched like I’d just stabbed him, his face paling. An ache slammed under my rib cage.
“Amelia, I?—”
“Please.” My voice cracked. “I need to be alone.”
His hand tightened on mine and his voice came out on a rush of breath laced with fury, “I will find him and I will tear every?—”
“Karson,” Monique snapped. She was standing at the door, and when Karson looked up, she shook her head. “You should leave.”
He gulped in a mouthful of air and nodded. Placing a kiss on my hand, he rose slowly. I didn’t look at him as he left. I couldn’t.
“Hey there.” Monique stood in front of me, a rare softness on her features. “I won’t ask you if you’re alright, I know you aren’t.”
I swallowed, grateful I didn’t have to speak.
“What happened was not your fault.”
Children were fragile, weak, powerless at the hands of a predator. But I was a witch and still I couldn’t stop what happened.
“I know,” I whispered.
“It wasn’t, Amy,” she said gently but firmly. “You were a child. There is nothing you could have done to change anything.”
“I know.” Fresh tears streamed down my face.
“It’snot your fault.”
A sob racked my chest, my heartbeat pounding in my head as guilt and shame all came flooding to the surface. I knew it wasn’t my fault and these feeling were not mine to carry. And yet, it still didn’t prevent them from tearing through the darkest corners of my mind.
Monique sat on the edge of the bed, her hand resting on my back. She just let me cry until the sobs eased and I drew in a few shuddering breaths, pulling myself together as best I could.
“There is nothing you could have done about it then, but there is something you could do about it now.” She wiped the tears off my face gently with a black hanky. “Tell me, who do we need to hunt down?”
