I lurched past him back to the bar. Like a stupid, desperate fool, the whole time I placed one foot in front of the other I prayed he’d call out to me, call me back, tell me we could work it out.
The silence was devastating.
I passed Ethan as he descended the stairs. I couldn’t meet his eyes. He strode toward Karson.
“What the fuck is wrong with you?” Ethan’s angry tone vibrated down the street. “You… his voice drowned under the sounds of the bar.
“Aims, let's get a drink. We’ll order cock-sucking cowboys, it seems the appropriate drink tonight,” Jodie said, throwing blades in Karson’s direction and linking her arm through mine. Until that point, I hadn’t realised they’d all been standing on the steps of the bar, watching.
I fought back a fresh burst of tears as I muttered, “Sounds good.”
Later, having tossed down four shots, one after the other, tears slunk back to the deepest corners, the anger dimmed, my shoulders relaxed, and the world hazed and became bearable again. Just.
“You know, Amy, things could be worse,” Jodie piped up, her finger trailing the inside of her shot glass and up to her mouth where she sucked on it between soft, pink lips.
“How exactly?” My voice sounded throaty.
“Well, you have two exceptionally good-looking men fighting over you, and I have no-one.”
She couldn’t have been further from the truth. I had one guy who professed to love me but had still cheated. And cheated in a place he knew he might get caught. Maybe he’d wanted to, maybe it was his way of getting rid of me, too. Maybe he regretted it now, but if I went back, he’d do it again. And another guy I’d fallen completely and utterly in love with, who, despitehis ridiculous desire to keep me safe, didn’t love me in return. Worse than that, he’d grown bored of me. Even worse than that, he couldn’t stand what I was inside.
Grenades landed in my self-esteem. I didn’t answer. I couldn’t meet her eye. I stared across the room, seeing only static, hearing only white noise.
“Darcy, dance?” Jodie asked, holding out her hand.
“Oh um, I don’t know how to.” He scratched his freckled arm and shook his head.
“It’s fine, I’ll teach you.”
Reluctantly, he stood up. When he spoke his voice was both crisp and practical. “Okay Jodie, but you need to know, you’re not really my type.”
She smiled, bemused. “That’s okay, Darcy, I won’t try anything, I promise.”
Darcy moved awkwardly on the dance floor, completely out of time with the music, but Jodie didn’t seem to mind.
Clint came over with another tray of shots.
I didn’t ask who ordered them, it didn’t matter.
“What are you going to do?” Georgie leaned forward and placed her hand on my arm. “He moved here for you—gave up a career in the big smoke—it’s safe to say he must be truly sorry.”
“I don’t know, fur burgers are looking good at the minute,” I said with a wry smile.
BJ chuckled. Georgie said, “You might be needing a few more drinks then.”
“Pretty sure there’s not enough drinks in this bar to get me through that.”
“Let’s just drink a bit more, shall we? We can talk a little bit of smack, and whose bed you end up in is your choice.” She gave me a wicked smile. “Bottoms up.”
We shot another four down.
“We’re going to need some more drinks,” I said, feeling light. Everything hazed, the room, the people, my pain. The alcohol had done its job. I stood up. The seat moved and knocked into my legs. I shot a hand out to stop myself from falling flat on my face. Georgie and BJ laughed. I pushed myself back up, clamped at hand over my mouth, and giggled. I looked up and the first person I saw was Tom. He was standing by the bar, a pretty blonde chatting to him, he smiled at her. As much as I hated it, I couldn’t help but feel pangs of jealousy. He looked across like I’d called out to him. There was a pain in his eyes that I knew was mirrored in mine. I tore my gaze away to Karson. He sat at the end of the bar with a flirtatious Rebecca, she smiled at something he said. The pin got pulled from the grenade.
I spun on my heel and went to join the others on the dance floor. The alcohol blurred my eyes, the floor swayed, the world’s axis was put into fast-forward. I glanced again in Karson’s direction. I shouldn’t have done, it was stupid, but I did. Rebecca had her hand resting possessively on his arm. She stroked his forearm, with one manicured, blush coated nail, in a long sweeping motion.
The grenade exploded.
I was aware of a male dancing close behind me. He’d been there for a few minutes, trying to get my attention. I’d ignored him until now. I turned to face him. He was medium height and build, brown hair that fell past his ears, tanned skin, brown eyes. Cute, maybe mid-twenties I guessed. He smiled, revealing crisp white teeth and small dimples on his cheeks. I smiled back. He stepped closer. I turned away and raised my hands above my head and tilted my bottom back towards him, swaying in a sexy side-to-side movement. He took the cue and wrapped his hands around my hips and pulled me closer. His breath, hot and heavy, landed against my ear. I swung back around and wrapped my arms around his neck, he settled his hands around my hips andpulled me in and we danced body on body, hip on hip. I ran my hands down his back, plied by enough alcohol to loosen my body, I arched backwards with all the skill of flexible gymnast, touching the floor with my fingers. He supported the small of my back.
