He sat back, shrugged his shoulders. “Okay, if you say so. I’m just saying pack tampons, Amy.”
Laughter rippled around the table.
“Oh, hello, Georgie, what about setting him up with me? I haven’t had sex in like an eternity.” Jodie’s eyes shot skyward. “Seriously, my vagina is like a ghost town, if anyone tried to put their seed in my garden of Eden, my walls would wither up and die of shock.”
We all laughed.
“It’s not funny,” she said, disgruntled, fingering her glass. “I’m that fucking horny I only have to walk past someone even slightly hot. I’m talking a five out of ten and my flaps start fluttering. A five. You know what that means.”
Bj chuckled. “Yep, you need to buy a dildo.”
Jodie screwed up her face.
“I don’t know, I feel like there’s someone for you, Jodie. Someone standing right in front of you, maybe?” I said, resisting the urge to stare pointedly at BJ.
“Well, I wouldn’t mind bonking Ethan.” She sighed heavily, looking at him with a wistful expression. “He is gorgeous..”
And I could only imagine the grin on his face.
“Eeeww, no Jodie, he has been in more crusty flaps than a bakery,” Georgie said, twisting her face. “And what guy do you know that you can have a one-night stand with that actually gives a damn whether you orgasm or not. They get their rocks offand it’s done. Just do what BJ said. Buy a dildo and sort yourself out.”
“It’s a little hard when you live with your parents. My mother would tap on the door and call out.” She mimicked mother’s voice. ‘“Jodie you’re going to wear the enamel off your teeth, dear.’”
We all burst into laughter.
“I’ve never had sex,” Darcy piped in with a grin on his face, which dropped away quickly as all eyes turned to him.
Jodie’s eyebrows raised. “What, never?”
He shook his head and then dropped his eyes to the floor. When he glanced back up his face was glowing. “Girls don’t like me . . . well, people don’t like me in general, really.”
“We like you, Darcy.” I smiled sympathetically.
“You just haven’t met the right girl yet, champ,” BJ said, slapping his shoulder.
“How many women have you had sex with?” he asked.
BJ’s eyes widened, he dropped his arm away and shifted in his seat.
“Yeah, how many, BJ?” Jodie said, repressing laughter.
“You first.”
“Women, none. Well one, but that doesn’t count, I was very drunk. Men.” She started counting across her fingers, which went on for some time. “Fifteen, maybe a couple more. I don’t know, it’s hard to keep track. Some I would rather forget.”
“You’ve slept with fifteen men?” BJ said, dismayed.
She shrugged. “Yeah, so? It’s just sex BJ, your turn.”
“Hang on,” Georgie piped in with a look of surprise plastered on her face. “Are you telling me you’ve munched on a fur burger, Jodie? And why didn’t I know this?”
Jodie wrinkled up her face, shook her head. “No, I haven’t.” Then added with a sly smile. “She’d waxed.”
Loud laughter rose from around the table.
Jodie folded her arms. “Well BJ, spill it, how many?”
He looked awkward, took a few big gulps of beer, wiped the froth from his lips and muttered with lowered eyes. “Two.”
