Karson followed behind and wrapped his arms around my stomach, I pressed my back against his chest, feeling a warm glow inside.
“What has Dahlia taught you?” he asked, his chin resting on the top of my head.
I felt my stomach tighten. She’d taught me how to kill vampires. I felt uncomfortable learning it. I felt even more uncomfortable admitting it. I swallowed, the sound tapping down my throat.
“A few things to deflect power, throw things, block emotions, control my anger.” In the absence of all truth I wasn’t lying I tried to console myself. His arms seemed to tense subtly around my stomach.He knows I’m lying.He’d know I needed to learn how to kill a vampire. It might be vampires that come for the waters. I should have just admitted it. Now it looked like I had something to hide. Shit.
He twisted my body to face him, holding my arms, with a serious expression. I felt my throat curl into itself. “Anger left uncontrolled is not always a bad thing,” he said.
I let out a breath of relief, if he picked up my deception it wasn’t of concern. I nodded like I understood. I didn’t. Dahlia taught me anger would get me killed, I had to fight by thought, not emotion, she’d said.
“It is what will give you the edge, anger means power, it means you can move faster, you have more strength, anger will drive you when everyone else gives up. If you ever need anger, Amelia, do not be afraid of it, let it surge.” He let my arms go.
‘He has an anger he can’t always control.’
‘That’s nothing compared to what he can do.’
Ethan’s warnings echoed in my ear. I wondered how many people he had slaughtered under a rage. The hairs rose on my arms. “Is that how it works for you?”
He nodded. His eyes drifted across the fields. “It has saved my life more times than I care to count.”
“And how many lives has it taken?” I heard the clip to my voice and instantly wanted to bite my tongue off.
He looked back, annoyed, his voice was chilled and almost challenging. “Hundreds. Maybe more.”
Hundreds.His words hit hard.I stared at my clenched hands.Maybe more.I stared at the grass.Thousands.I looked to the sky. I swallowed. For a long moment I had no words. I needed to find something, anything to say. When I looked back, he’d moved a few feet away. He had his back to me. He was deathly still. He was over five-hundred years old, he’d had to fight to survive, of course hundreds of lives would have been lost over the years. I groaned silently in the back of my throat.
“Karson,” I pleaded and stepped up beside him. He wouldn’t look at me. His jaw was clenched. Eyes blistering. “Karson, I’m sorry, I didn’t mean . . .” I grabbed his arm, his muscles were branch hard.
“We should get back,” he cut me off. He pulled his arm out from under my touch like I’d burned him. He jerked the travelrug up off the ground, and in a blink it was neatly folded. He walked with tight movements and rammed it back into the pack on the back of the bike.
I felt my temper flare. “Fine,” I snapped. Bewildered and unsettled by his response. Christ, it was a slip of the tongue, a knee jerk reaction. I apologised, what more did he need?
I fetched the glasses, throwing what was left of the strawberries out for the birds. He reached for the glasses from my hand without a word, without any eye contact, putting everything in the backpack and onto the back of the bike. He handed the helmet to me with a bored, detached look. I would have preferred anger to such a blatant look of indifference. It hurt. I took the helmet from him wordlessly. We travelled home in silence. When he dropped me off at home, I handed the helmet back. His eyes met mine. They were cold and impenetrable, like a dark, frozen lake. I wanted to say something to make amends, but the hurt had turned to anger. Instead, I turned heel and strode toward the house as his bike roared down the drive.
Chapter 67
Lost Without Him
Istayed at Ethan’s that night, alone, and the night after, and the night after that. A whole week went by and I didn’t hear anything from Karson. I didn’t contact him either. My shift at the bar was swapped to a day shift, which, in truth, I preferred. It gave me more time to talk to the patrons. Except, he wasn’t there. I trained a lot, but I could barely eat. The weight fell of me. My heart ached so badly, it hurt just to breathe.
‘When he’s bored of you, he will throw you out like trash.’
And he had. It was so painful, I couldn’t face it. So, I buried it deep.
I came back from a late afternoon jog. Ethan and, to my surprise, Darcy sat on the couch, watching Rambo. Ethan never had visitors other than Dahlia and the vampires. He kept his home as a sanctuary from the busyness of the outside world.
“Hey, Aims.” Darcy glanced up with a big grin.
“Darcy, hi.” I threw him a smile and a quizzical glance at Ethan.
“Darcy came for a visit,” Ethan explained with a bemused grin.
I frowned, noticing a beer in his hand. “And you’re letting him drink?”
Ethan moved his shoulders up with blatant look of indifference. “He’s almost old enough.”
I doubted that. I wasn’t sure why it annoyed me, it wasn’t like I hadn’t started drinking young, but it did. “But he’s not, Ethan, and you’re not his parent, so it’s not your call.”
