I feel a weight lifted off my shoulders as I sit back down, and that should make me feel better. Elated, even.
But then, a wave of guilt crashes over me in an instant, making me feel guilty just for standing up for myself. I got eighteen months of anger out in the open.
Why am Inowfeeling terrible about it?
21
What/Who We Need
Crew
“Maybe you need to breathe a bit,” Tuck tells me as he pulls me away from Rosie and the newest addition to the pod of dolphins. “Have you taken your break yet?”
No, and I don’t plan to. I haven’t been around the dolphins in a week, and one of the trainers complained about how she wouldn’t let him feed her. When I was asked to help, I couldn’t have been happier.
“What if something happens to Rosie while I’m gone?” I ask, hoping it could excuse me from having to take a break.
Tuck sighs at my attempt. “There are cameras everywhere, Crew. Should that happen, you can look at the surveillance video when you return.”
Well, that failed. Rosie continues to swim happily in the tank—or as happily as a dolphin in confinement can be—in the distance, and it’s not long until she disappears from my sight.
I rub my eyes, and Tuck frowns at the action. “Have you been sleeping, Crew?”
“Yes.” That’s a fucking lie. I haven’t gotten a wink of sleep in two weeks. Sure, I can place the blame on finishing my lastquarter of undergrad, but it’s not true. With my family and Carly on my mind nonstop, I can barely relax. All of my relationships—except for my friendship with Vinny—are starting to fall apart, and I feel helpless about how to fix them.
With my parents, I’m not sure. Mother is, without a question, not a part of my life anymore with how she’s acting. As for my dad? I don’t know if he’ll side with one of us or cut us both out completely, which is totally possible.
I yawn again.
Tuck shakes his head. “Crew, just take the rest of the day off.”
“What?”
“You heard me.” He grabs the bucket from my hands and places it next to his feet. “You haven’t taken a day off since returning from your term abroad, and it’s time you did.”
“But—”
“Something is clearly on your mind, and your head’s not here. Go outside, breathe some air that doesn’t smell salty, and I’ll see you on Monday. As your supervisor, I’m permitting you to take the day off.”
Tuck doesn’t push, even though the father in him so desperately wants to ask. He has three kids—the oldest of them being in my age group—and I think working around me for so long has brought out that side of him.
“Is that allowed?” Granted, I didn’t request any days off, but I’m not prone to burnout like most people my age, so I never needed to take a mental health day.
He shrugs. “Well, I’m allowing it.”
There’s no arguing against that. “If you’re allowing it, then okay.”
“I’ll see you on Monday.” Tuck picks up the bucket from the floor and walks out of the dolphin exhibit, towards the door labeled,Employees Only. I wait for a minute before exiting through that door and checking myself out for the day.
Maybe Tuck’s right, and I do need to call off for once. A day can’t hurt, right?
I head towards the main exit for a breath of fresh air, closing my eyes and allowing the sun to warm my face. This isn’t much better, but at least I’m not smelling saltwater for once.
Just as I start to feel somewhat more at ease, I hear someone shout my name.
Oh shit, the paparazzi found me. Why today, of all days?
“You’re dead meat!”
