“Then throw whatever you need to say in my direction,” he tells me. I turn to glance at him, but his gaze is straight ahead. “I can handle it.”
Except, I’m not sure he can. He may have grown up in the spotlight, but that doesn’t mean he’s strong. Everyone has weak spots.
Well, he asked for it.
“Do you really like her?” I ask, whilst figuring out how to phrase my words correctly without offending him. “Or are you just clinging onto the idea of someone pretending your not-so-glamorous Hollywood past doesn’t exist?”
He doesn’t say a word, but I see his brows crease with each word that escapes my mouth.
“The way I see it, you’re just trying to escape your old life instead of accepting that it will always be a part of you,” I finish. Then, I add, “no matter what you do.”
“Wow, you are unafraid.” He sounds shocked, even with the small warning I gave him.
I feel like I should take that comment with pride, let it build up my confidence, but I can’t. Because I’m not unafraid at all. Half the time, I’m fucking terrified but don’t know how to process it properly.
“Maybe think about your answer the next time I ask,” I mention casually, bringing my gaze back to the sun, which is beginning to set.
“There will be a next time?” His voice doesn’t suggest any hint of panic, but…is that hope?
Nah, that can’t be.
“Maybe there will be,” I taunt, oh-so lightly. “Maybe there won’t be. You’ll never know.”
11
She Likes My Fish More Than Me
Crew
It will always be a part of you, no matter what you do.
For the rest of the evening, Carly and I are at the beach, and that sentence runs laps in my mind. She literally voiced my biggest fear, and I didn’t even ask for it.
I left that life behind me, and the thought of even a trace of my past being stuck to me like a leech to my skin brings unsettling chills down my body.
That was something I always knew from the start, but I didn’t want to face it. However, I can’t always choose when it happens.
And that still stuck with me, even when she pulls up to the front of my apartment complex, and I find these next six words to leave my mouth.
“Do you want to come inside?” I blurt out. Now, where the fuck did that thought come from?
And why did it leave my brain? It’s like the security guards of my brain aren’t doing their job effectively and need to be replaced as soon as possible.
“Are you sure?” She questions.
I shrug. “I wouldn’t have invited you if I wasn’t sure, right?” I guess I wasn’t as unsure as I believed to be
“Well, I guess so,” she agrees. “Where do I park?”
After guiding her to the guest parking lot, she follows me through the gates and onto the trail that leads towards the other end of the complex, where mine and Vinny’s apartment is located. We start our journey up the first flight of stairs.
“This is a nice complex,” she admires. “How did you manage to live here of all places? It must be expensive.”
“Vinny and I had been saving up.” He had a job from the beginning, and I saved up every penny of my residuals since I turned eighteen, only dipping into it for school. With the paid internship I got through the aquarium’s hands-on research program, we were able to afford it.
Plus, before my relationship with my father tilted on its axis, he was the one who suggested the area I live in. Busy but still quiet, which is a rarity outside of downtown LA.
“No siblings wreaking havoc?”
